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Sparrow On The Morn'

by GoodieGoat


Sparrow On The Morn'

Sparrow on the morn, sparrow on the morn,

You are my first joy 'gainst the daybreak's cruel scorn

I throw myself out to be dashed 'gainst the mornin' dew,

And I remember I can smile upon the first sight of you

Then the day takes up a kind new demeanor,

With the air grown fresh, and the flowers grown greener

The futures not so grim, and my eyes I think are glittering sure,

And no happiness was ever so pure

***

Chickadee at noontide, Chickadee at noontide,

At you midday's trite maledicts do fall at the wayside

My aimless meanderings are blown into port,

When I see you amongst yourselves playing in idyll cahorts

Than my trampings do turn to adventure,

And my search for lost love becomes a sugared venture

I did turn 'round, and watch you sing your chipper song so clear,

As the lazy late-afternoon gave way to a twilight of tears

***

Heron of the night, heron of the night,

Your regal craning brings the rainfall to delight

Each one of your feathers treasured in blue wealth,

As if you were handmade by the hand of God itself

In your company I'll sleep, to let my body soak up the waters,

To be cherished as if I were my own contentment's sole daughter

And sweet is the sleep of those no longer athirst,

Having made their happiness mercurial and unrehearsed

***

A cardinal hopped atop my rested body, and diddled about my chest,

And the warmth of his eyes like bullets where buried deep in my breast

Wonder stretched 'crossed his face, as he cocked his head towards the reeling westwardly dark

He turned 'round and outstretched his right wing to a ginger east without remark

He jumped down astride me and laid his beauty upon my mind

I'll be off to walkin' straight into the dawn, unearthly and purblind

And I thank you cardinal, I'm off to see the sparrow, but we'll meet again soon,

And the cardinal did land on a dogwood outside a bedroom window, and he began to croon…

***


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5 Reviews

Points: 41
Reviews: 5

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Thu Apr 13, 2023 6:03 pm
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Cage says...



Loved the tone of the poem. It was lively, cheerful and pure. It was really able to make me smile. The simple narrative style and the amazing imagery was able to grab my attention, and maintain it throughout the poem.
I would suggest you one little thing though - the vocabulary of the poem was a little too hard for the tone of the poem. The difficult words felt like little bumps while enjoying the poem. Of course, some of the words I felt difficult must have been my bad for not knowing them, but in the end, I did have lingering feeling that the wording could have been easier.
But apart from that, the poem was totally awesome. The feeling of cheerfulness and warmth with which you must have written this poem were really able to reach us, and that fulfils the goal of writing a poem - being able to express yourself freely and being able to make the person reading the poem understand those feelings

Happy Writing!!!




User avatar
5 Reviews

Points: 41
Reviews: 5

Donate
Thu Apr 13, 2023 6:03 pm
View Likes
Cage wrote a review...



Loved the tone of the poem. It was lively, cheerful and pure. It was really able to make me smile. The simple narrative style and the amazing imagery was able to grab my attention, and maintain it throughout the poem.
I would suggest you one little thing though - the vocabulary of the poem was a little too hard for the tone of the poem. The difficult words felt like little bumps while enjoying the poem. Of course, some of the words I felt difficult must have been my bad for not knowing them, but in the end, I did have lingering feeling that the wording could have been easier.
But apart from that, the poem was totally awesome. The feeling of cheerfulness and warmth with which you must have written this poem were really able to reach us, and that fulfils the goal of writing a poem - being able to express yourself freely and being able to make the person reading the poem understand those feelings

Happy Writing!!!




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227 Reviews

Points: 32581
Reviews: 227

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Thu Apr 13, 2023 2:19 pm
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NadyaStatham wrote a review...



Hi @GoodieGoat

OMG, this poem is so beautiful! I can't believe how amazingly it's written. You are such a talented writer! Sparrow on the Morn is my favourite part of the poem. It's so touching and uplifting. I love how you describe the sparrow as your first joy against the cruel scorn of the dawn. And when you throw yourself out to be dashed 'gainst the morning dew, it's as if you're saying that even when things are hard, the sight of the sparrow brings a smile to your face.

And then there's Chickadee at Noontide. This part is so fun and playful! I love the way you describe the chickadees playing in idyllic flocks. It's like they're having their own little party while everyone else is stuck in the mundane maledictions of noon. And then your tramping becomes an adventure and your search for lost love a sweet quest. It's as if the chickadee brings out the best in you.

And Heron of the Night is just magical. The way you describe the heron's regal swoop, bringing rain to delight, is so beautiful. And each of its feathers, precious in its blue richness, as if handmade by the hand of God himself, is just breathtaking. I love the way you say you'll sleep in the heron's company to let your body soak up the water. It's as if you're saying that being with the heron will bring you peace and contentment.

And then there's the cardinal. This part is so touching! I love how the warmth of the cardinal's eyes is like bullets buried deep in your chest. And when he jumps down astride you and lays his beauty on your spirit, it's like he's giving you a gift of beauty and wonder. And when he lands on the dogwood outside your bedroom window and starts to sing, it's like he's saying goodbye for now, but he'll be back soon.

Overall, this poem is just amazing! It's so full of beauty and wonder and joy. Thank you so much for sharing it with me!

Amazingly yours,
Rinisha





If you can't get out of your comfort zone, you'll never find what you're looking for. Don't make things quick and easy to feel better short term. Make a change and then you'll feel better longer term.
— Frinderman