Once Upon Valentine's Eve
As February falls with a pretty gloom,
Forlorn and forgetful the eve brings doom
With memories laid, their joyfulness sighing,
He said; “Mother, I'm dying.”
***
The ground was to cold with the Saints to lay,
But tomorrow, is Saint Valentine's day
“So hold my hands, and hug my heart.”
You'll find it's never too late for a new start
***
‘Once through a still night sat Valentine condemned,
The jailer's daughter knelt for her eyes to be unhemmed
And she did see, and abided to his correspondence well,
And her household baptized to thank their benefactor now felled’
***
“In your love my life will be preserved.”
And off he went to a reward of kindness undeserved
She looked down; “My heart shall remain in the former.
And I'll receive you again in someplace sunny and warmer.”
***
Pretty grays have turned to evening of powdered whites,
So please yearn with all you have, cherish with all your might
I remember, so clearly I glimpse it all,
When I sleep, when in silence, when in labor, just beyond the hall,
Thank you precious memories, no more stuck tears left to fall
***
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the ghoulish S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - This is a poem about Valentine’s Day, how it all started, how it affects others, and what to remember and keep in one’s heart when celebrating it.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to say “too” for “too cold”, but that is just one little thing.
Chocolate Bar - Where to start…I love how this is a bit of a reference to how Valentine’s Day all started, people don’t really talk about that when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I also like how you wrote to hold onto love, even in trying times, because it is one of the strongest things in our lives and isn’t just for Valentine’s Day!
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a fabulous, well-written poem about Valentine’s Day. It’s not saccharine sweet, but still brings about a sense of love and joy to anyone who reads it. I’ve enjoyed this and now…
I wish you a glorious day/night! ^v^
Hi! I really liked this piece. The rhythm flows very nicely and makes it a super smooth read and the rhyme scheme ties it together very well. You set a dark tone right at the beginning with the use of works like doom and gloom and forlorn and I think you do a nice job keeping with this melancholiac vibe throughout the piece even when you bring in the wistful hope of meeting again "in someplace sunny and warmer." I think overall you did a stellar job encapsulating the energy of February and I have no critics! Great job and thanks so much for sharing!