I think I met my soul mate
Sitting on the steps to K-Mart
We shared but one quick glance
But from that I knew his heart
I believe I met my soul mate
That hot, summer day
And I feel badly for keeping quiet
But I wasn't sure what to say
I'm sure I met my soul mate
And I could feel his lonesome soul
Years of disuse and hatred
All finally taking its toll
I know I met my soul mate
In New Jersey out by the street
And if I wasn't being dragged by family
I might've stopped for a greet
Perhaps I met my soul mate
Who could speak to me with his eyes
And though he never spoke a word to me
I knew his words wouldn't be lies
Perhaps I met my soul mate
And we never got each other's name
Maybe he's out there, too
Writing about me in vain
I think I met my soul mate
I felt as if he would die
And I pray to God every night
That I will get another chance to say hi
If he is my soul mate
I'd at least want a hug
To give him hope for the future
And to give his heart a loving tug
I need to meet my soul mate
For you know what the saddest thing is?
Apart from those shining blue eyes
My memory has lost his appearance
I dearly miss my soul mate
My faceless, nameless man
This time I know I'll speak to him
And hold his shaking hand
I hope all is well with my soul mate
For I know he's out there somewhere
Perhaps, right now, he's going to K-Mart
Just to see if I am there
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137,725 Literary Works • 672,066 Reviews
This is a very nice poem you have here! I absolutely love the last line. It just really makes the poem. At first, I thought your flow was a bit off in some places but as I read on, the flow made sense. If that makes sense.
In some places, the poem seemed repetitive. Not the 'perhaps' part or things like that but the same idea was used a few times. I can't point out where it seems this way. I would usually say to maybe expand the idea but I really like how this is all on one topic and doesn't move around too much. I can't decide. But I don't have to decide because it's your poem.
Good job on this!
And ... HAPPY REVIEW DAY! : )
Thank you so much!
This was really good. You relayed your story very well, and I could feel everything you were talking about. Great job, and keep it up!
Wow, I really liked this piece!
The story it told was a little sad, yet entrancing, with a little spark of hope for the future. I liked how you used a similar line to start each verse with, very neat style. The only things I found was a little repeat of words here...
Don't get me wrong, I like this verse (it actually might be my favorite), especially the second line, but I think the concept of 'word' and 'speak' are a little overused. It still worked well together, though, except that the end line seemed to jar it a little. Maybe say 'would not be', instead of 'wouldn't'? Not sure... Also the rhyming seemed a little off in this verse...
Well, I'm not too experienced in poetry, so I won't nit-pick it too badly, and also because I really did enjoy and don't want to seem discouraging. Some of my favorite parts were...
Nice ending, also! Great job overall! Keep it up!
<..> Kat
This is very cute, I enjoyed this a lot. Even though my first post here is a poem, I'm not really a fan of poetry, but I just couldn't resist writing this review (though it won't help much) for your poem. Thanks for sharing!
I love this so much!