Wildfire

Endless, it pierces through walls like
soldiers of war—flame, flesh and glass,
it never loved anyone but itself.

First thats an awsome tital you've got, best tital in the world.

A very interesting poem, it has rwal meaning to it.

Keep it up.

I can't be sure, but wasn't there loads of fires somewhere in America earlier this year or something? Because that's what this bit reminded me of. I could be wrong, but it's what it made me think too.

Intersesting. Really nice. How do you write like that?! i enjoyed it.

Very interesting poem. I enjoyed the read. I think its the most interesting poem I've read. Great job!

Okay, so poetry isn't my area of expertise, and I don't know how mch I can help you.

I quite liked this. I like reading poetry and lyrics that are like stories, they're better than random ramblings.

Our home was filled
with strangers, and their clothes smelled like
tires, and tears, and metal, and the Diaspora
of neighbors, some homes are only cinders; smoke
clogging our city,

Hey! Thank you very much for your crits.

"It's about a family being burned, no?"
I'd let you decide that. When I wrote it, I imagined their house being burnt, not them.

" am not sure if I understood the message, but I have an idea. I won't say it because I will look stupid if its wrong."
No! You won't look stupid nor wrong! You will look perfect if you told me what you thought the message what, because then I can change my poem to thus change my message.

Gadi. wrote:1

The night we returned home, burning ashes
floated in air like fireflies. We heard the
sirens ring through the night; school was out,
and we could just make out a red streak
across the highway. Our home was filled
with strangers, and their clothes smelled like
tires, and tears, and metal, and the Diaspora
of neighbors, some homes are only cinders; smoke
clogging our city, like Atlantis underwater,
and our lungs split and torn, until we breathed
the sun. We left as soon as we heard
the phone ring: the tree in our yard was already
aflame, carrot blazes licking cherry autumn leaves.
Fire: beautiful fire, we dance in your light, we
feast in your heat, we pray in your opulence,
we burn in your flames. We burn in your flames.

2

The last thing we left was my parents’ wedding
videotape. When our car was past the mountains,
past the city, past the fire: when we were all but safe,
we heard nuptial harmonies crackle in the flames.
The night we returned home, we found the
Bible under the rubble, unscathed leather:
we are our brother’s keeper, “am I?”
Fire is the wrath of trees; it is the sun’s dooming
gaze, father’s deep unforgiving glaze;
Fire is a red sky, slithering like a snake
through empty streets, until its tail is caught
in its mouth. Endless, it pierces through walls like
soldiers of war—flame, flesh and glass,
crystal clear blue blood.

Wow! I really enjoyed that!

I love to read poetry, but when it comes to reviewing it, I leave a lot to be desired. So, let's have a look!

I am not sure if I understood the message, but I have an idea. I won't say it because I will look stupid if its wrong . At first, I was a little concerned that this would just be a story in verse, and the start is. However, the end of the first part, and the entire second, I loved. I thought the imagery was great, and I loved all the lovely wordy sentences.

More good points, include your use of repetition and spot on grammar. Actually, just one thing:

“am I?”