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Red Rose

by Frinderman


Red rose, red rose,

they want you to pose!

They worship your scarlet petals,

held so highly but so little do they know.

~

You were a young innocent bulb but you were neglected,

you hadn’t yet bloomed, therefore rejected.

~

You were born wild, you only had yourself.

When you were moved to the city, it only worsened your health.

~

You grew thorns for protection because they wouldn’t notice.

They hadn’t thought to look past the leaves.

If they did they would see your stems so grotesque

but wouldn’t imagine the roots rotting underneath.

~

But then one day a boy noticed your bulbs, he found them intriguing.

He had become as awkward with words as he was endearing.

He held you up through every storm as he became your trellis,

You had nothing special but with all he gave you, it made others jealous.

~

That man gave you new soil, a breath of fresh air.

He watered you gently and noticed your thorns,

as you began to question them yourself, new buds were born.

Your roots had revived when you were treated with care.

~

He was proud to show you, his rose, only with your consent.

People began to see your true color, if only they knew how much it meant.

~

You finally opened your petals to them.

~

You opened up too far however, for you were mistaken,

they unearthed your roots and with fame you were taken.

Their greedy eyes wouldn’t let you grow free,

cut from those thorns and trapped in a vase,

you were put on display for all to see.

They praised your petals while you covered your face.

~

But as the days passed their attention grew scattered.

The thought of your thorns returning made your heart shatter.

You convinced yourself that it was just a phase,

then they threw you out at the first sign of age.

~

Without proper care, leaves became fragile and grey,

your petals turned to rust as they withered away.

You were left in the dirt with nowhere to go,

waiting for death, heartbroken and alone.

~

Just barely alive, you felt someone’s stare,

but at this point in time was there a reason to care?

~

Lifted into his arms, you were held with grace.

You opened your eyes to a familiar face.

He whispered softly, wrapping you in his clothes,

“How could I be so careless to you, my rose?”

In your fading conscious you saw the man who saved you before.

You died in his arms learning it was you he was searching for.

~

He buried his rose, the love he couldn’t save

and left not a bouquet, but a seed at her grave.

As the golden years passed, what the man did not foresee,

a great oak grew in her place, honoring her crimson beauty.

~

Although the man tried to live life to his best,

the man grew old never looking for another rose.

He passed in time with only one simple request;

he was buried in front of the oak that it may never be cut down.

~

Something then emerged at the base of the tree,

a bulb white as snow; a pure rose to be.

~

White rose, white rose,

 may you never pose.


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176 Reviews

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Thu Oct 13, 2016 9:23 pm
sheysse wrote a review...



Sheyren here to review for a Shamin and to punch this piece outta the green room!

So this was a great poem, and that's about all I really want to say before diving into this review.

First, I noticed that NightFury1210 commented that the italicization messes up the flow of the poem. I disagree. I think it is a nice thing to make it unique. That's the magic of poems. Your always looking for something special to add, that way it isn't just the same as any other poem. It also exaggerated some parts, which I'm a fan of. In other words, congrats. I just forced you to decide between one reviewed and another. Dun, dun, duhhhh!

I didn't see any major grammatical errors, but one thing I recommend changing is the splits between stanzas. The squiggly line thing that I don't remember the name of is an odd way to break stanzas. Because most novels use that type of thing to shift settings, so every time I see the line, I think it changed a setting. But that's a minor thing.

Overall, nice poem. Also, I see your relatively new to the site, so welcome! Hope you enjoy it here, and hope you write more poems, so I can read them! :D

-Sheyren signing off




Frinderman says...


Thanks! The reason for the tildes is because of the format changing when I upload my work. When I don't place something between stanzas it removes the breaks in between and it just looks like a paragraph.



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Wed Oct 12, 2016 3:10 pm
TrinityMitchell says...



This is awesome!!!




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Wed Oct 12, 2016 6:53 am
NightFury1210 says...



Hey Frinderman!

NightFury1210 here to leave a review. First of all, beautiful poem. You've managed to capture the true life of a rose in the most wonderful manner possible. I think the imagery is perfectly fine, I was able to picture the entire thing quite easily and clearly.

There are however, a few things I would like to point out. Just a few suggestions from my side... you don't really have to listen to me :)

I can see that you have italicized some phrases and lines. While that does add to the feeling of the poem, it isn't very smooth in the beginning. When you read it out loud, it just kind of breaks off in some places, so it becomes a little confusing. But as the poem proceeds, it certainly gets better. So maybe you could go through the following lines again:

"They worship your scarlet petals,

held so highly but so little do they know."

"He was proud to show you, his rose, only with your consent.

People began to see your true color, if only they knew how much it meant."

Also, in the line "As the golden years past, what the man did not foresee", which time period are you referring to as the golden years? Also, it should be 'passed' instead of 'past'.

"He passed with time with only one simple request" Could've been your choice or a typing error, but I think you missed out on the word 'away' here i.e. 'passed away with time'

Overall, it's a very well written poem and I love it. Keep writing! :)




Frinderman says...


Thank you for the suggestions! I realized I typed past instead of passed and I fixed the weird sentence, I knew using the word "with" twice the way I did was a bit awkward...



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Wed Oct 12, 2016 6:47 am
NightFury1210 wrote a review...



Hey Frinderman!

NightFury1210 here to leave a review. First of all, beautiful poem. You've managed to capture the true life of a rose in the most wonderful manner possible. I think the imagery is perfectly fine, I was able to picture the entire thing quite easily and clearly.

There are however, a few things I would like to point out. Just a few suggestions from my side... you don't really have to listen to me :)

I can see that you have italicized some phrases and lines. While that does add to the feeling of the poem, it isn't very smooth in the beginning. When you read it out loud, it just kind of breaks off in some places, so it becomes a little confusing. But as the poem proceeds, it certainly gets better. So maybe you could go through the following lines again:

"They worship your scarlet petals,

held so highly but so little do they know."

"He was proud to show you, his rose, only with your consent.

People began to see your true color, if only they knew how much it meant."

Also, in the line "As the golden years past, what the man did not foresee", which time period are you referring to as the golden years? Also, it should be 'passed' instead of 'past'.

"He passed with time with only one simple request" Could've been your choice or a typing error, but I think you missed out on the word 'away' here i.e. 'passed away with time'

Overall, it's a very well written poem and I love it. Keep writing! :)




Frinderman says...


I understand the italics confusing the flow of the poem for you, however I merely used them for emphasis, not to affect how the poem is read, most of the time that is.




He began to wonder why he had felt uneasy at all. It was like a man wondering in broad daylight why a dream had appeared so terrible to him at night.
— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart