Hello! Ripple here. Felt like I should review this, even with Review Day so close.
The first thing that sticks out to me personally is the reiteration of the title at the beginning of the poem. I don't think it is necessary to repeat it, as you already have it in the title, as well as elsewhere in the poem.
I actually really like what you do with the (labelled WEEDS) and other parenthetical instances throughout the poem. It makes it stand out, and almost implies a synonym hidden beneath the 'label.' It ties the whole thing together.
I believe "poke-a-dot" is typically spelled "polka dot," though this could be completely intentional. I can definitely see it giving additional meaning through that spelling. Just pointing it out in case it was not intentional.
The portion of the first stanza with quotation marks seems slightly off. I realize that it is supposed to be a metaphorical quote, but it still throws me off since it doesn't sound like realistic dialogue, if that makes sense. I mean, the tone totally works with the rest of the piece, I think it's just those quotation marks throwing me off, but I have no clue how to offset that. Maybe phrase it as if he is addressing her, and get rid of the quote?
Throughout the whole poem, you use this constant theme of weeds and flowers and gardens, and I love it. It just conveys the main theme so well. Your use of descriptive language is simply beautiful. The consistent capitalization of lines works very well, in my opinion. It was a pleasure to read. I can't wait to read more of your poetry!
Points: 4842
Reviews: 120
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