Sky of Seasons Chapter- 3.2

Hello! The alpaca has come. Will be leaving a short review about this. As I usually do, I review the parts that I find crucial to the story and the parts that I like. Let's get to it!

Soon, the forest ended abruptly, they were expecting to see the road but this was not the road or an ordinary plain.

The forest was fearfully silent, the woods had an abrupt circular clearing in this forgotten part of the Thorn Forest. The Sun shone sharply through the tangled branches of the trees onto the parched grounds.

I'm getting an ominous feeling from this description. Instead of a path or a road, they are met with a strange circular clearing. Their assumption was wrong. What could this mean? Did they go off in the wrong direction? Or did they stumble upon something they should never have?

There stood the old cottage with weathered rocks surrounding its boundaries. Small scrubby vegetation spread around it. A queer atmosphere was in these lands of hot weather and prickly surroundings. A sense of being watched was again upon them.

“Where are we? And what is this old shack, I never came to this part of the Forest before.” Ethan whispered as they all stood still, poking Kiliarn with his elbow.

“Don’t know, I never did too,” Kiliarn replied

“Be quiet you two,” Lyla suddenly said pulling Kiliarn and Ethan to the side hidden with few bushes.

The characters' personalities shine in this banter. Ethan seems to have been in the forest before so he must have led through the forest with pride. But now his ego is somewhat crushed and his curiosity is peaked. What is this place? Kiliarn seems to be on the same page with Ethan. Lyla is the voice of reason among the three, pulling them to safety in the bushes. It is wonderful interaction between the three.

She frowned as she pointed at the pair of twinkling eyes peering from the half-opened window of the rusty shack. t quickly withdrew into the darkness inside. Ethan glanced at Lyla at her left and saw her eyes still and her hand gestured for him to stay still. A few minutes passed, and they had not moved. Kiliarn spoke first.

“We are lost, probably or the Road lies beyond that old shabby house. We need to pass the boundaries.” Kiliarn said stepping up from the place they had hidden.

“Well we saw someone obviously lives here, can we ask them about the road by any chance?” Lyla asked

“No, I would not wanna go meet the beholder of those strange eyes. I don’t have a good feeling about this.” Ethan frowned and hesitantly stood up next to them.

“We will have to, there is no choice I hope you already have guessed that.” Lyla gave Ethan an assuring glance and he faintly nodded. Then she gave Kiliarn a look, he looked forward and nodded slowly.

Oh what intrigue! A pair of twinkling eyes from the shack. This is no ordinary being.

The three moved their way to the house, carefully avoiding the thorny branches that lured their way across the house. Ethan leads the way with Kiliarn behind him and Lyla at the end. They entered the stony boundaries that circled the strange house in the middle of this unknown part of the Thorn forest. There were herbs grown sparsely. They couldn’t recognize half of the plants that grew there, no such herbs and plants had they seen in Sunwane, and only a few of the tough species could survive the high temperatures of these lands. They carefully avoided stepping on one of these unusual plants as well and made their way to the crooked door of the shack.

A wind blew again, a harsh hot wind across their face. Lyla’s ash hair trickled down and blew swiftly across her face, Ethan covered his face with his hands as his skin crawled at this hot sensation.

I like how you describe their surrounding will depicting their movements. It shows that the place they are in is uncharted, unknown territory. It is wise for them to be cautious as they do not know what one wrong step can bring.

The door opened slowly before they could even knock. And a man stood at the opening. Ethan slowly put his hands down from his face, a strange wind passed all over his body, and his hands that held the Leather pack fell down from his hand.

The tall man bent, and picked up the pack.

“Not so careless lad, take this,” his steady finger that held the leather bag gave it to Ethan back. His face became more visible as he left the darkness of the inside and stepped outside into the harsh sun that shone.

He had the same azure eyes they saw at the windowpane or somewhere else as Ethan's mind had remembered.

I wonder what kind of power or magic or knowledge this man holds. This is really intriguing. And I want to know more hehe


Overall, this is an interesting chapter that pulls you in the story. Great job!

This is alpacaboss, signing off.

Heyo, DreamyAlice! Dropping by to leave a quick review!

Oo, this seems like a cool fantasy story! Already, it feels like there's something magical about the setting and characters, including the strange tall man in the house. I wonder what Ethan's connection to him is? Also, are Kiliarn, Ethan, and Lyla siblings?

I really enjoy your writing style and descriptions. They're, well... I don't know how to explain it, but they have a poetic feel to them. For example, the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. They're also creative and have vivid imagery, which is delightful to read.

My only constructive criticism is that there are a few grammar mistakes and typos, mainly with punctuation and commas.

Ex:

Soon, the forest ended abruptly, they were expecting to see the road but this was not the road or an ordinary plain.

There should be a period instead of a comma after "abruptly" here.

But stuff like that are just common little mistakes and can be fixed with proofreading. The writing is still lovely and does great at creating a mood.

Awesome work. I hope you continue with this! Have a good day!