Poisoned Apple

What's up, DragonWriter22?

Well, obviously a fantastically creative poem, I see. I can't imagine how much time this must've took, and I'm very glad that you had the time to enter it in the first event of the YWS Writing Olympics!

This was very well written, which I'm thanking you a lot for not spending your whole time figuring out the shape of the poem. From just looking at this, I can tell that you spent the correct amount of time on each category: written work, shape, and creativeness. I'm impressed that you successfully rhymed correctly each line, while forming the poem into the shape of a poisonous apple.

I'll lay my apple down to rest, and with sleep I will be blest

I love the idea of using blest instead of blessed. I think it's good to show the different varieties and ways of writing words.

One suggestion, however;

Her apple made her fall asleep

Try changing her apple to the apple. Since, technically, the apple isn't hers, but the evil queen's. I assume it could go either way, it just seems less choppy and makes more sense to use it as though it's the evil queen's apple.

Shape
I really love the simplicity of this, even though you can tell that it is very complex and intricate. Anyone can tell that in order to make this, you must have the strength to be patient, and that is what you have. And I love the way you made the apple - it resembles any type of apple in real life. No apple is perfectly circle, oval, etc. You made this a new apple that is accurate to an apple someone could eat.
I like the story that your shape tells. I mean, of course the words making up the shape help tell the story of what's going on, but when it comes to shape poems, that's different. You can tell that she is already asleep, because there is a bite in the apple. I think that was a smart detail that you added.

Summary
Overall, I am just glad that you made this. I don't typically find shape poems to read, not to mention review them. I could definitely see more future shape poems that are successful from you, so I would encourage you to do more. I think it's a fun way of representing the poem and adding a cute amount of imagery without overdoing it. And as far as the actual written work of shape poems I've read on YWS, yours is nicely done. You took the appropriate amount of time (as I said before) on the writing piece of the poem, which proves that the written work and the shape of the poem can both be at high standards.

Thank you for making something that is different, creative, and just amazing to read. This work was amazingly done.

~Blue