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A little rambling

by Corvus


I love a little rambling,

Stream-of-conscious spirals,

Strewn across a page.

   

A pretty little thought,

Rithmic and upbeat,

Written down and tossed about,

Till finally complete.

    

With messages and happiness,

(and those little author's notes),

Teaching you something new,

And telling you their hopes.

   

I must admit it might be strange,

But what can I really say,

I love a little rambling.


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229 Reviews


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Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:22 pm
Horisun says...



This poem is great, and I can absolutely relate to it. I love the word choice, that's wonderful, and the flow is really nice! The one thing that I noticed was that you spelt rhythmic wrong. But other than that, awesome poem!

Keep on doing what you love, chasing your dreams, and have a great day!




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Tue Jul 02, 2019 2:36 am
xJade wrote a review...



Wesh! Jade here for a quick little review.

I feel the flow is a bit off, and I personally think parenthesis in a poem seems wrong. I read it quite easily and I think it's a cute, lighthearted poem I see your punctuation is ,,. and I suggest going through and fixing it properly.

Other than that it's great! Keep up the great work and I can't wait to read more by you.

XJade




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Sat Jun 01, 2019 12:39 am
demoncat wrote a review...



This poem is so cute. I love how it's a poem about rambling. I too love rambling. So This poem is really relatable. It's probably because I ramble alot myself. I would really like to read more of your work. And it'd be nice to see more poems like this. Especially​ if they are about rambling. I seriously love this and hope to see more. The irony that you were rambling yourself, Or at least that you said you were, it was genius. All I can really say is how much I loved this. No complaints on my part.




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Fri May 31, 2019 5:34 am
Morrigan wrote a review...



Hi CorvusQueen, how ya doin'? Morrigan here to review your poem.

This is super cute! I must say, I'm partial to a rambling little poem myself. I produce too many of them to say I dislike them! The rhyme scheme aided you here-- it adds a simple vibe to this piece. It's a bit ironic-- this poem doesn't ramble at all even though you are talking about these jumbled poems.

That being said, there are a few things you could change to improve the poem.

I saw two tiny little spelling errors.

Rithmic and upbeat

"Rithmic" should be "rhythmic." That's a doozy of a word, so I don't blame you!
Till finally complete.

"Till" should actually be "'til." It's a shortening of "until," so there's a little apostrophe before t, and only one l since it's part of a word.

I recommend revising your punctuation. It doesn't necessarily aid the poem when you have a comma at the end of every line. It reinforces the singsong meter, and if that's what you were going for, that's fine. But I recommend punctuating this as if you were punctuating sentences. It's going to slow the pace down for the reader a bit, allowing them to absorb what you're saying without rushing through the piece. That's up to you, of course, but I think that punctuating the poem differently would help the execution.

Something else I might experiment with if I were you is a style that fits what you're talking about. Something with "stream-of-consciousness" spirals. I think you'd be able to illustrate your point in a more direct way. On the other hand, I do like the juxtaposition of the style and the subject matter here. It is charming. I'd like to see a rambling, jumbled poem about a simple poem. Create the opposite poem. If you do that, tag me when you post it!

The last suggestion I have is to add a little more imagery. I like what you have, with the spirals and the "tossed about" part, but I want a little more. Illustrate more how these rambling poems make you feel, without telling us outright that these poems leave you with "messages and happiness." Show us some words that make trellises out of line breaks, that climb green upwards like ivy. But maybe I'm the one who's rambling now!

Altogether, I like this. I hope that this review proves useful to you! If you have any questions, let me know! Keep writing, and keep YWSing!




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Thu May 30, 2019 4:17 pm
Elinor wrote a review...



Hey Corvus!

Elinor here to give you a quick review. I liked this poem and I thought it was a nice look at the creative process that put a smile on my face. I especially love the first and last stanzas, and thought the end did a nice job of circling back to the beginning. I also get the sense that this was written to overcome writers block, or at least the moment where we question what it is we're even doing when we write. In that sense, it's relatable.

What I wanted was something that took this a step further so that it transcended the off the moment feeling of not being able to figure out what to write. I loved the second to last stanza, and thought maybe it could be expanded on. What is it about writing that keeps you going anyway?

I think that's all for now. Great job! Let me know if you have any questions!





The important thing is never to stop questioning.
— Albert Einstein