I'm Not Perfect.

by Boolovesyou

Published September 9, 2011

In Dramatic Poems

Imperfection beats me, but
Mind must beat matter.

Not as easy as puzzle,
Owned by all my sins.
Try to

Piece me together,
Every little shard.
Reach in my head;
Find my heart.
Even all the scars,
Cannot stay forever,
They too will waste away.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
SteppinRazor
Review
SteppinRazor wrote a review Review · Sep 10, 2011

Even all the scars,
Cannot stay forever,
They too will waste away.


Open wounds, can they heal? Yes they can, but only if you let them. You have to let things go. I hope that the scars will vanish maybe with some cocoa butter right? I really liked this, the ending gives a sense of relief and I like how it's spelling out I'm Not Perfect, witty.

User avatar
shiney1
Review
shiney1 wrote a review Review · Sep 9, 2011

This is pretty good. I love how you talk about yourself, and the acrostic format.

The thing is I wish you expanded on it more. It is a bit too short and sharp. Some of the sentences are sound like fragments, and the shortness of each sentences disrupts the flow. Try to build longer sentences, and a bit more imagery would not hurt.

I make a lot of acrostics. If you are interested in a look, you can find them under the Acrostics Folder in my Portfolio.

paintingtherain97 wrote a review Review · Sep 9, 2011

This is really good. It's not often that you see acrostic poems on the Young Writers Society website. Usually, acrostics are shallow, simple-minded, but this one has meaning. The theme you use is a bit cliche, the acceptance of imperfection in human nature, but you represented it very well. If you want to spice it up a little bit, then maybe try some figurative language. The way you described the scarred heart was good, though. Anyway, keep up the good work, and I hope my review helps.

YouWishYouHadThis commented Comment · Sep 9, 2011

Wow It Was Really Really Short I Would love to have more



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