Young Writers Society

Cassie here!

I would like to start of by talking about this poem.You are right about this, writing does let us escape from our thoughts and from the world around us. (I'm guessing this is the meaning you were trying to portray. I am not going to lie at firs t I was confused. I felt like it did not flow , but when I saw the ending I thought the end was an amazing conclusion to this piece.

Some things I thought you could improve on. In the beginning try to portray more of what you want the readers to know. I felt like you were talking about multiple things, and that tends to confuse the readers. You have to stick to one subject. I understand if you are trying to talk about different things within the topics.

Overall this was an amazing poem! It was so well written I loved it a lot. Sorry if the nitpicks were too harsh , but I'm not very good at grammer so I thought I could help you in a different way. Overall this was a fantastic poem and I hope to hear more from you soon.

Hello Tuesday here for a review. i like to begin that this poem could be related to the reader since most people have a voice inside their head (like a conscience telling them what is wrong or what is right). However, in this poem, the person within here is having voice cream at them about the dreams that this one person has (either nightmares or dreams) since the voices inside their head are creating their dreams. Also i like to say i enjoy the little hints of rhyme throughout this poem since it gives it a feeling of a beat or off-beat plus there is some alliteration in this poem which gives it a mood to when the reader is reading it.

Nitpick(s):

But what if I… am just one of many souls.

They might give me ideas, but more often than not,

Hi there. Happy review day, Authorian.
Well, I am here for a review so let's start it without wasting any further time.

The first two sentences of your first stanza are splendid. The rhymes and word selection!

They bicker, and banter, and eat at my hope,

A key on a keyboard, a tree in a forest,

The last day of summer, the start of a chorus.

First review - if I miss any customs, please tell me.

This is a curiously ambiguous piece. I gather that it is about your writing, at least from the way I read it. You talk about how the voices in your head give you ideas, and you have so many of them that if you don't write them down they "rot". The many souls that are all different, have different feelings and express differently on paper. They seem to conflict: "whisper, argue..." I don't think it is a dark poem though; I believe it is more so simply a poem about all the ideas you have for writing and creativity.

Perhaps you are talking about how you are part of wider picture like a single "key on the keyboard" and "one of many souls". Perhaps looking for your place? But then I don't think that would match up with the last line.

Maybe my interpretations are completely off, haha.

I like the effect you created when you use a lot of commas to create the voice of someone with voices in their head: "They hide, them, and keep them..."

The rhyme scheme creates a good effect with how it doesn't always rhyme fully (e.g. "roll" and souls"). To me that reflects the arguing in your head and that you are not sure what will be next. The full rhymes do add a bit of light - heartedness to the poem, and if that was your intention, then great!