Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

by Ardor

Published March 21, 2012

In Return-To-The-Dark-Side folder

Let's kill children.
Especially poor ones.
Let's kill women.
Especially working class.
Let's file documents.
Against the rebels.
Let's give the cops.
A hefty pay rise.

Don't cut down.
On government tax.
Raise the bars.
For we just lack.
The big dollars.
Yet we have so much.
We may have lots of money.
But we don't have enough.

Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.

You have no damned idea.
What is going on.
You wish you had required.
Knowledge before we begun.
Did you read our manifesto?
Of course this had to happen.
Did you read our brochure?
"No blacks allowed".

Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.

Time to taste.
Medicine.
Poisonous.
So ironic.

Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Renard
Review
Renard wrote a review Review · Jul 1, 2014

Hello.
So this is where you start to get politically motivated and talking about more "serious issues" compared to the romantic ones. And that's ok.
The narrator of this work aims to be deliberately controversial, as we can see. XD

Let's kill children.
Especially poor ones.
Let's kill women.
Especially working class.
Let's file documents.
Against the rebels.
Let's give the cops.
A hefty pay rise.


You're talking about politics and money. Two of the most controversial topics you are advised to keep away from, yet here you are, dispelling all these stereotypes. Or something like that. XD

i like this work, because i think it represents you as you are now:

Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Wake up and smell the coffee.


Stylistically, thematically, and in every other way basically. XD

Random avatar
Dreamergirl
Review
Dreamergirl wrote a review Review · Aug 20, 2012

Heyy,
The idea of the this content, is really unique. It's a nice effort. :)
There are a few minor errors,
I think in the line, 'You wish you had required, Knowledge before we begun'. you should replace the word 'required' with 'acquire' it would bring more sense to the poem.

If you manage to re-write a few lines, this would become great. :)

Keep writing ~
- Dreamergirl.

User avatar
InTheTrees
Review
InTheTrees wrote a review Review · Mar 25, 2012

I like this. It's almost satiric, and it grabs you.
Just a suggestion: you might want to look at the second sentence, the part about money feels a little choppy.

For we just lack. (try a comma instead of a period)
The big dollars.
Yet we have so much. (omit this maybe?)
We may have lots of money. (comma)
But we don't have enough (period)

Take it or leave it! But anyway, nice read!!

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Mar 21, 2012

This is kind of an ironic poem. Its all the things people don't want actually happen and it's like a wake up call to the world. And thats why I think you called it 'wake up and smell the coffee'. Well - that's how I understood it anyways.

There is only one bit I didn't quite get:

Time to taste.
Medicine.
Poisonous.
So ironic

I would've like it better if that wasn't there. Or the verse was longer and more explanatory.
But really good!

Deanie x



Doors are for people with no imagination.
— Skulduggery Pleasant