Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hello! Me again! XD
This work is very haunting, if not almost horrific! It's about temptation I think; and what happens when you succumb to it.
You're trying to pass off consumerism as a wider-world concept, and that's quite clever. It's like combining the Bible with a clothing catalogue. XD
The cracked windows suggests some sort of imperfection, which the lack of warmth at the end of the stanza would seem to suggest.
I am unsure of what is significant about this particular age, apart from the fact it's an upside down 6 and that has connotations with the devil, quite obviously. XD
Erm, maybe that's just a coincidence.
An intriguing work.
~L
I like it. I think it would be a little short, but the song I started writing is only three lines so far, so I'm not going to judge! I'd like to see more. It really sounds like proffesional lyrics and I enjoyed reading it.
its a great song it really is but what is the genre? pop? hip-hop? Classical? i think telling me what kind of song it is would put that song in my head....and keep it there, like all good and catchy songs. also its a little short, no? depending on how fast your going this song would 40 sec. - 1 min. about.
This is a good piece. I think I get what the central message of it is but I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps you could clarify the second part. From what I can tell I think you're trying to say that there is someone (perhaps your conscious) trying to tell you to have a certain belief. I'm going to guess the t-shirt has your name on it, no? Hmmm did you make up your mind about about where you stand on your beliefs at age 9? Well whatever the case this is a very interesting piece. Good job.