southern flowers

Finally. A poem in the literary spotlight that isn't a chicken poem.

Hey arcticus,

I absolutely loved your poem! It's fresh and paints such a clear picture in my mind. I can almost smell the frosty air and it's soothing beyond words.
Thank you, I really needed to refresh my imagination with a piece like this!

Hey there, Arcturus! Raven here with a review.

So I read this poem while listening to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5mRW-HBD90 and immediately got the biggest dose of nostalgia you've ever seen. This poem captures such a perfectly indescribable mood, from the title to the very last line. Start to finish, you blew me away here. Unfortunately, because I loved it so much, I'm going to have to dig really deep to find critiques. I hope you don't mind nitpicking, because I really want to have some sort of feedback to give you in return for such a mind-blowingly excellent piece.

My first and only critique is that compared to the rest of your stanzas, the first one doesn't pack quite as hard a punch. The rest of your stanzas have such rich imagery and figurative language. The first stanza does as well, but instead of being radiant it's simply awesome. I think if you played around with "numb and frosty" you could come up with some sharper descriptors.

Like I said, there was very little to critique here. That bit about the first stanza was all I could find here. You have such a wonderfully Hozier-esque voice here; I'd love to see more poems similar to this one. Thank you so much for this experience!

Happy RevMo,
RavenLord

Hello, @Articus! It's Vilnius, here with a review.

My first impression is-- oh, you've hit all the right buttons. As a Southerner, you've crafted an exemplary and artistic set of lyrics that describe a lonesome Southerner going up to Yankee territory, not knowing if they will ever see Southern flowers again. It's just-- perfect.

You've shown masterful skill of creating rhythm and rhyme in your stanzas; your fifth was, in my opinion, your best.

As you've stated in your profile, you are not from Earth; yet, you've created a perfect image of the Old South in just a few stanzas. You've really shone a positive light on the finer parts of the US south of the Mason-Dixon, and I really like how your imagery can push someone to feel such emotion in just five stanzas.

Thanks for writing this fantastic poem. Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!

Wow this is a really good poem!
I'm Buranko, and I am ready to review this masterpiece.

The images you create are simply outstanding. I fell in love with your epithets "numb and frosty railroads","pale blue song". You evoke such strong feelings with words that barely have any relationship with the actual feeling. The "fogged window" gave me the impression you are under a strong feeling of loneliness, the blurry sight as a result of sadness and loneliness.

The image of old moats is also helping me get some insight in the persona's heart. Battles that never came, sentries living for ages, they all give the impression of extreme sadness over some broken expectations.

However, the sad tone of the poem is fixed in the last stanza where it is finished in a hopeful tone. The gift for the loved one is not only the flowers but also the return of her one and only. It is interesting how filled with regret the last line is, but also in a kind of happy ending theme.

I really loved taking the northern train with you!

Ahoy, Articus!

This was an absolutely magnificent poem! The story is clear, the imagery is phenomenal, and the aesthetic is on point. I love how simple and to the point all the wording is. I was able to understand everything the speaker was describing without unnecessary or flowery language, which isn't always inherently bad, but for this story/poem, it really highlights the journey up north. Not necessarily important, but my brain defaulted to reading this in a southern American accent, and I just felt you should know that. There isn't a lot I can critique that doesn't just chalk up to personal preference, and it was an absolute delight to read! I hope you have a great day, and a marvelous #RevMo !

-Connie