Once upon a time there was a confused big headed guy named Bryce. He had just been stumped by a question of great brilliance.
"What's a sparkle?"
His whole class laughed at his lack of sparkology. Bryce did not know what to do. He decided to walk in a dwarf-sized (and inhabited) forest. All he could do was stare at his smelly feet and wonder the definition of sparkle. As Bryce was mumbling to himself, he heard a purple bush rustle maniacally.
TBC....
Find out what is behind the purple foliage in the next edition of....
THE SPARKLY ADVENTURES OF BRYCE
and yes, that deserved caps.
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140,900 Literary Works • 673,706 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayy...well this one kind of seems a bit random almost here. I get that this is perhaps meant to be some sort of really short part one to a story or something along those lines but at first glance here this is just a little too tiny which barely anything happening for it to really pass of anything much here and that's a great situation to be in here.
Of course besides how short it is, there are things going on here that do make this interesting, so I'd say premise wise you have done a pretty solid job here and this has quite a lot of potential as a piece, its just there needs to be quite a bit more happening here for it to really be a full piece cause right now it just feels a tiny bit random and not as if there's a plot or a story here.
That's not to say this isn't a good start, it just needs a bit more fleshing out for this snippet here to really work. And so yeah, that's mostly what needs to happen here, there just has to be a lot of expansion on what i will say has been a really solid little scene there.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Haha! I loved this!! It's absolutely adorable and the word "sparkology" made me crack up!
I would make this into one sentence...
I don't get this sentence at all...Maybe, "He decided to walk in the dwarf-sized forest that he inhabited"?
Anywayz, great job on this and I'm definitely reading the full version of this...My fave line had to be "pondered a question of great brilliance"...
Gold Star for sheer awesomeness!
fluteluvr77<3
hahah
Personally I think it happens to be rather incredible
And yes, I'm trying to steal a review from this
sparkology?
I can imagine this as a child's book too
or possibly a poem, one of those light hearted ones for young children.
sounds like a little kid's book.
A little weird, but makes the reader want to read the next one.
Shouldn't there be a dash instead of a space(big-headed)?
Where did he get the idea of such a question from?
That's a little confusing.
Interesting story, I wonder what happens.
Hey, only the truest of sparklers can understand this, or be fabulous enough B)
If you're not weird, you're not normal.
But if you'd like to read the WHOLE adventure, check it out at
www.imtheoboeplayer.com/sparkle.html
This is retarded.
Prokaryote