I wrote a song...
Same four chords al the way through F major, A major, D minor, B flat .
Oh boy, here goes.
\ \ Ballad of the Introvert / /
Verse 1
I’m a little strange
that’s what they all say,
I don’t want to be cliche,
but I’m misunderstood,
I’d be like you if I could,
doesn’t mean I should…
mmm. mmmm,
They come, they invite
I accept to be polite,
but when the day comes that I dread,
I cancel by text.
(cancel by text, cancel by text)
Chorus:
I gave it my best shot but humans consistently
have and always will dissapoint me
They say silence is the loudest scream
but maybe I just don’t like talking
Has that ever possibly crossed your mind?
Just once? nooooo? my, my
As I suspected, extrovert detected…
Verse 2
I’m too tired today,
I don’t want to stay out late,
that’s what I say,
maybe be that’s true,
but also it’s you
I don’t like what you do.
mmm. mmm.
I’m tired of being optimistic,
humans will always fall short,
of my high expectations,
that’s explains all the phone calls I’ve ignored.
Chorus: I gave it my best shot but humans consistently
have and always will dissapoint me
They say silence is the loudest scream
but maybe I just don’t like talking
Has that ever possibly crossed your mind?
Just once? nooooo? my, my
As I suspected, extrovert detected…
Verse 3
Sometimes people are great,
I don’t always hate,
it’s just hard to relate,
to you how I am
here I’ll give you my hand,
hey this isn’t so bad
mmmm. mmm,
It doesn’t mean I hate you,
I just don’t have the energy today
I try to relate to you
but I run out of things to say
Chorus: I gave it my best shot but humans consistently
have and always will dissapoint me
They say silence is the loudest scream
but maybe I just don’t like talking
Has that ever possibly crossed your mind?
Just once? nooooo? my, my
As I suspected, extrovert detected…
Bridge Thing:
Doesn’t mean we can’t get along… X4
...But only for short periods of time
Chorus: 'Cause I gave it my best shot but humans consistently
have and always will dissapoint me
They say silence is the loudest scream
but maybe I just don’t like talking...
But I have one more thing to say…
though people aren’t all the same...
it’s … O… Kay
It's Okay, It's Okay
That's...
Okay
(Thanks for taking the time to read this, hope you liked it, all critisism is wanted, welcome, and appreciated, :) - Anne
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.
I can relate to this song a lot because I am an introvert myself and a lot of people just don't understand that I like to keep to myself and remain quiet in stressful situations. Though I am social around my close friends, if I am with other people too much, I will get really stressed out and I can stop wanting to do whatever I was doing. For instance, if I go to a store, I always feel like every adult that stops and looks in my direction is judging me for being 14 and they think I'm what most people are at my age. I'm not like them. I'm different. But they can't hear me- it's just a thought.
The last few lines about it being okay are really cool because I feel like it's what most introverts (myself included) say in many situations, making it very relatable and fluent. I can hear myself saying "I-It's ... O ... kay. It's fine, i-i-it's no big deal, I'm fine, just ignore me." I also like how you state you have lost all faith in humanity, since I have too... at least, in most humans. My best friends like @AlexOfLight remind me that humans can be amazing people that can inspire you to do anything.
Wow, that was a long review. Sorry about that. Have a great Review Day, and never stop writing amazing poems!
~ZeldaIsShiek
Thanks for the review, glad you liked it! Yeah, by the review and how you talk about your experiences with being an introvert I can tell... you totally get it :3 That's reassuring
-Anne
Never saw that chord progression. Soon as I replace the broken string on my ax I'll try out.
Cool, have fun!
Hello, this is Londone here to review your work!
I enjoyed this. It had a nice message and I could relate. There were a couple typos, but that can be easily fixed.
The flow, I felt, was thrown off in a couple different places. It almost turned into sort of a rap for me at some points, and that messed with the message a bit. Yet I think you’ve done a really good job catching yourself and staying on track for the most part.
I would really like to have a conversation with you after this song. You seem like you have a lot you want to talk about and a lot of valuable things to say. A lot of lines were very witty and clever, and so they must have come from a person that has those traits.
This was beautiful! I hope to see more from you soon!
Londone
Thank you so much for the review and the compliments! Yes, I have trouble with flow and some of it is rap-like (if that's a term) It was kind of Bo Burnham-inspired and he speaks rather than sings lines of his songs sometimes, so that's where it gets thrown off mostly. For example, the line "...But only for short periods of time" Is meant to be spoken.
If it's not too much trouble, could you point out the typos so that I can fix them? That would be wonderful
That%u2019s fascinating! I didn%u2019t know of such a thing, actually. Thanks for enlightening me!
The typo I found was %u2018dissapiont%u2019. I think you meant %u2018disappoint.%u2019
Huh. That was strange. I suppose I just made a typo of my own!
haha XD
Ah yes I see that now, thank you
Hello there!
This is Desdemona of WritingWookies here for a review.
I feel like you've done a really wonderful job with this particular piece. You seem to connect with it on a very personal level. I feel that is very important when one is writing a song.
All you have that I've spotted is a few mistakes that I'm sure are just typos and absolutely nothing else. I really like your choice of chords as well, very smooth. Do you play the guitar or the piano?
I am an introvert just like you, and this is a piece I can relate to very, very well. I do wish there were a repeated chorus to give the song a little more stability, as too many different lyrics can get a bit overwhelming in a song, and is not really as catchy as a fixed chorus. However I do feel you could just change that easily by revising your song for a few minutes. What's important for a song is that it makes you feel things. This song makes me see the me who dwells inside. Sometimes it's good to make people look back at themselves and see themselves in a song, this is another aspect of what makes a song very popular.
I feel you've done an excellent job with this song overall. Keep up the good work!
Love,
Desdemona
Thank you for the review! (and for being nice) I'm very glad you could relate to it, I have a hard time steping back and seeing a clear picture of what I've made after working on it, so I can't tell how it actually comes across.
I'm trying to make it a little less complicated because not only is it a wordy song, it's also very fast. I don't have trouble with that since the words came from my brain, but you totally have a point when you mention it not being catchy and kind of unstable.
I play both of those insrtuments along with the violin and the ukulele, I found the chord progression on the piano and then wrote the lyrics while messing with my ukuele. I had a lot of fun writing it more than anything and my hope is that it will help people understand where I'm coming from better if I sing it to them, and for it to be something other people like me can relate to.