Young Writers Society

Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.

I find this poem very beautiful and relatable, even if you wrote it when you were only twelve. The message you are sending to the world is very inspirational and deserves to be heard by as many people as possible. While it is no secret that I am not very confident in myself, I definitely try to ignore bullies whenever I can in order to refuse them the satisfaction they want from their interaction with you. I also liked how you kept asking the bully what they had. It made the poem feel not only like a message to the bully that you are speaking to, but also a message to those being bullied that the bullies may have even more hell than they make for you.

This is just something to think about, and it could or could not be the true meaning of this piece. I love the work you have done and I truly wish that more people would understand that everyone is the same once you peel off the cover, and that no one should be treated differently. That's all for today. I kept out the grammar and/or spelling issues section because of the fact that you were very young when you wrote this poem.

Keep writing, and have an incredible Review Day!

~ZeldaIsShiek

Hi Anne,
Thanks for tagging me so I could read this. It's honestly such a great peice. Considering that this was written by a 12-year old, it's amazing.
The language and repetition is all very effective, but if you do want to improve it (and I've seen your other work and it's also really good) to reach the standard your capable of now, you could maybe use more sophisticated language? The language you've used is good, but at times it is simple, which can be both affective and overly simple, depending on the context. For example, instead of saying "are you beautiful on the inside" maybe you could think of a more creative way to put that?
One thing I really loved about this is that you managed to humanize the bully without validating their actions. And there's a very fine line between humanizing and glamourising a bully, but you did that perfectly. For a 12 year old I think that's more than amazing.
By the way, don't get me wrong, the suggestions I made were purely for if you wanted to improve on it, in my opinion I thought it was a great peice the way it is. Never would've guessed you wrote this when you were 12.
By the way sorry for the late review.

Good job and thanks for sharing!

Hiya! Glad I was tagged in this!
You said it was written by you when you were twelve, and that being I was impressed and delighted by the grammar and long words that really made it flow well. I also love the concept, making a bully seem more human really helps in understanding why they do the things they do.
One of the good things about this is that it questions the bully, asking them why they do it, telling them that their unneeded and unwanted cruel behavior helps no one and that the protagonist is above their petty fighting. Most bullies do what they do because they don't know how to cope with their own problems, they are weak so they give in and fight others to cope. This brings that to attention. It is also important to fight back without becoming a bully yourself. Rise above them while also defending yourself. I'm glad that you mentioned this.
Along with the beautiful vocabulary and writing, I enjoyed it!

I only have some advice for you, and that is too maybe cut down sentences that are too long. Break up a run-on sentence so it isn't that much of a mouthful.

This was a great literary piece! Good job!

-Space the Snickerdoodle

I am glad I was tagged on it. Reading it made me think how much I liked it. You said it's not really a poetic piece, but it is, indeed. Although I wonder what would you write, if you had a longing to write something like this nowadays. We all know that bullies didn't have an easy life, otherwise they would've been different. It is easy to understand them too because everyone is born equal and difference appears when danger disappears. You see if one sees a bully probably family members did beat him/her and as they see weaklings they do begin acting cruel. Thank you for this poem and I'd like to see more like this. Let there be Love and Piece.

Anne, this is what I want to say all the time to people who make me depressed, that's 30% why I am the way I am. I think that when you wrote this, when you were only 12! It was amazing, I'm glad you wrote it, if you hadn't, I would have a review for this totally different. I loved this, there were no grammatical errors, it flowed, and overall, keep writing poems like these, they sound and look amazing, giving a very positive message! Keep up the fantastical work bud!:)

This was so good iwhish i could feel this way but i dont have enough self confidence tosay the things that you said. Thank you for this though it made me feel good.
I agree that bullying is terrible and no one should ever bully, it's a waste of time. Good job writing, Anne.

This was so good iwhish i could feel this way but i dont have enough self confidence tosay the things that you said. Thank you for this though it made me feel good.
I agree that bullying is terrible and no one should ever bully, it's a waste of time. Good job writing, Anne.

yeh... did a thing XD


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