• Home

Young Writers Society

E - Everyone

Country Mouse

by AlexNoelle

I shifted uncomfortably, this was a very new situation for me. I was seated in a restaurant booth, looking at a fancy menu that I couldn’t read. I sought refuge in the familiar face across from me, as I whispered to him past my menu, “I think this is in another language.” He smirked and resisted the urge to laugh. The man next to him looked for clues in our facial expressions to try and figure out what words had caused my fiancé’s reaction. I cleared my throat and smiled at the couple who had taken us here, and whom I now hoped were paying for this meal. My fiancé was far more comfortable in this situation than I was, though he also felt pretty out-of-place. He grew up in the country just like me, but his father had a city job. He’d had much more exposure to a high-end lifestyle than I ever had. I distractedly played with the hem of my napkin as my fiancé was carrying out his assignment to order for me. The napkin was made out of cloth, as-in actual material, something I’d never actually seen before. I always used paper towels.

We had just moved a long way from country-side Kansas to the city, in New York because of my brother’s offer of a job for my fiancé, (Thanks, Daniel.)

I didn’t exactly hate it, but I hadn’t been there very long, It’s been a week and our new neighbors insisted on “taking us out to dinner, and showing us the city.” They wanted us to see what we’ve been missing out on, apparently not much. I’m sorry if I’m not thrilled about over-priced and over-processed foods, or breathing in fumes everyday, and so much traffic I could take a nap at the intersection. I already miss my home, I’m not saying I’ll never be able to adjust, but I am saying I don’t know that I want to. Sure there are many exciting things, like the fancy restaurants, and big theaters, nice cars, and fancy clothes, but the prices are shocking! I sure hope my fiancé’s new job turns out to be what my brother said it was, or we won’t even afford the plane ticket home.

My country home was beautiful, we never wore fancy clothes or had cloth napkins, because they’d never stay clean. But we never felt that we were lacking. Where I come from we all wear jeans, we all drive old clunkers, and our “fancy meal out” is at Sally’s Diner where you wipe your chin with a paper towel, and the coffee is a heat-up from yesterday’s brew. Nobody minds, the atmosphere is pleasant, and exciting. You can have a conversation with someone all the way across the diner, and the cook might just take a minute off working, to join the fun. We were all relaxed, and it was a real good time.

Now, here I was, watching my manners carefully, moving stiffly and quietly, trying not to offend the waiter, who was consistently far past my boundaries of personal space. Especially when he puts the napkin in your lap for you. I nearly slapped him, until I realized the other three at our table received the same treatment like it was normal. I guess for these people it was.

I half-expected to be spoon-fed. When the food arrived, I was very confused. I couldn’t tell what it was or why it looked like a live sea creature, but at least it smelled good. I stuck my fork in eagerly, giving it a shot. In all my days I have never tasted something that good! When I was all finished I washed it down with something else delicious and fizzy, and wiped my mouth with that fancy cloth napkin. Feeling like a queen, I looked around the restaurant. Maybe I could get used to this, though I know I’ll aways be a country mouse.

A/N Hiiii, I know it wasn't very good, but I tried. This was for english class, the prompt for this assignment was "Using a scenario of your choice, showcase differences between country and city life." Any and all feedback is welcomed, and appreciated. Thx

Is this a review?



User avatar
29 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 29

Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:45 pm
lemonboi wrote a review...

This is a really awesome story! I liked the smooth transition from present time to memory. Your comparisons were really good too. I hope you got an A+, because this really catches the reader's attention. I, for one, really felt what was going on while the story escalated. It's very well written and I hope you share more assignments here in the future. Good luck!

AlexNoelle says...

Thank you so much! <3 glad you liked it

User avatar
18 Reviews

Points: 25
Reviews: 18

Fri Dec 15, 2017 9:55 pm
Capa002 wrote a review...

Hey, I really liked this short story. I loved how the tone evolved from being glum, to humor and finally hope. I thought your writing style was very good, as a reader I was captivated by how someone would dislike the move from the country to the city, if that makes sense. I think if you wanted to adapt it more to your assignment, I think you could add more description of the setting, I know you spoke about the napkins and the atmosphere at the country restaurant. But maybe if you added more about how the country restaurant was different to the city restaurant in terms of atmosphere, it would show the differences much clearer.
But overall I really enjoyed reading this. Hope to see more from you soon!
(Btw I'm horrible at reviewing so sorry if you don't like this) :)

AlexNoelle says...

I liked it fine! :) I'm gald you enjoyed it, and thank you for your feedback. I found it helpful as well as incouraging

One fish, two fish, red fish, aardvark.
— alliyah