Hello!
What a beautiful poem! I actually cried reading this, it's so sweet. The rhyming is really good in this poem. Everything is so wonderful about it.
Keep up the fantastic work!
- Emma
You’re such a sweet boy,
such an innocent child.
Don’t let the world tame you
keep your spirit wild.
Don’t lose your child-like wonder
but gain a child-like faith,
learn to love the world,
and don’t be consumed with hate.
-
Please, sweet boy,
trust me when I say,
'I love you with my whole heart,
and I will always stay.'
I know the feeling of abandonment,
and sorrow and mistrust,
having to collect the pieces of yourself,
back up from the dust.
-
But I promise, sweet boy,
that will not happen to you.
I will never leave,
I swear I tell you the truth.
Please, sweet boy,
say you won’t change,
say you’ll love me too,
even when I’m old and grey.
-
Please, sweet boy,
I promise it’s no lie
I wish the best for you.
I’ve built you a castle in the sky,
full of my wishes for your future,
the things I want you to have.
-
You complete me with your smile,
and your adorable laugh.
-
You are my hope for the future,
your eyes, so beautiful and bright.
Sweet boy, you make me happy
and you are my shining light.
-
-
-
This poem is written for my nephew, the only innocent and happy thing I can look to in a sometimes dark and hopeless world. I'm not too good at poetry, so I hope you will forgive me. All criticism is welcome.
Hello!
What a beautiful poem! I actually cried reading this, it's so sweet. The rhyming is really good in this poem. Everything is so wonderful about it.
Keep up the fantastic work!
- Emma
[https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Brianna-Nelson/The-Catcher]
Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.
This poem felt very similar to the song The Catcher by Brianna Nelson, as she sings about saving a child's innocence and saving them from the tragedies of the world. Though this is impossible and shielding your nephew for too long can be damaging, I respect how you feel about protecting the innocent things in your life and can relate to it in regard to my own brother. The structure of your poem is also very nice, as it brings out all of the important things in your life that you see in your nephew and how you want to keep them that way forever.
I'm sorry I don't have a lot more to say, but this was a very short poem and the meaning was very easy to grasp. I really enjoyed this poem and I am going to read more from you right away. I hope to see you around YWS, and have a great Review Day! Keep writing!
~ZeldaIsShiek
Hello! First I wanted to say, what a sweet poem! This was a real joy to read. You portrayed the emotions well, and I found myself thinking of my little cousins. I liked how it was a little message to your nephew.
One thing I noticed was that you separated the fourth stanza into two stanzas. I would not separate,
"You complete me with your smile,
and your adorable laugh."
that portion from the previous stanza.
I liked the repetition of "Sweet boy", because it almost felt like a nursery rhyme (in the best way possible). You should look up Shel Silverstein and read some of his work. He wrote poems for children, but I've found some favorites of mine are written by him.
My favorite stanza was the last one. It was a very sweet way to end this poem.
Overall, I thought this poem was adorable and comforting. I thought you did a good job inserting your emotions into the piece. I really enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!
ella
This poem was amazing! I felt like I was the boy and you were comforting me that everything would be all right, that you had built had built my world so that way I would be happy. I really feel like you did the best in this poem, you rhymed, it flowed together, I didn't see any mistakes, so I congratulate you friendo!:)
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