Desire

by unsocialbutterfly

Published February 1, 2012

In poems

Hey guys it's unsocialbutterfly writing with passion what she's too afraid to actually say haha. Like my poem? I've written other ones similar to it maybe you wanna go check 'em out hm? Anyways hope you like my poem :)

My head is snatched from the sea,
My body,
Thrown into the sky
When I look at you
My mind is absolutely silent,
In a good way
I'm consumed by you

Draw me close and don't let go
I want your high-
The one where all I see is you

My average ammount isn't covering it
I know what it's like to overdose
Kill me with your presence
Let's break through our fear

Quench the fire,
My burning desire for you

Do you see me
Dancing in the air
Like a large as life fairy

Comments & reviews · 1
User avatar
misstoria
Review
misstoria wrote a review Review · Feb 16, 2012

I adore this! The emotions are very real and raw and I love it! Again I think that you need to work on sentence structure, particularly adding periods and taking out capitalization in spots. Here is an example of what I'm talking about.


My head is snatched from the sea;
my body,
thrown into the sky.
When I look at you
my mind is absolutely silent,
in a good way.
I'm consumed by you. - i adore this line!

Keep Writing-Tori



You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot stop Spring from coming.
— Pablo Neruda