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E - Everyone


by alliyah

i think i've always pretended to love coffee
     just something warm to wake-up to
     bitter notes barely disguised by sucralose
     i could always convince myself
     that the artificially sickly sweet
the laughing, kissing, dancing while we're strangers
                was less disappointing
     than sugar, or honey, or conversations that dared
     to ask who we really were
     or are, or could be,
     or love that cared;
               and failed.
it just hurts more to waste your time with something precious.
the loss more hollow and
memories etched deeper
when you get attached to someone.
and i know too well how it feels to get my hopes up.

i have always heard desperation is an acquired taste
     just something that sneaks up on you
     bitter notes becoming stale or muted
     i always convince myself the caffeine kick
     is worth the crash.
then i remember even faked feelings stir up fatigue
               and sometimes they're not fake.
     but i drown my bitterness in sucralose
     and ask why i need to care
     if you don't care and what's
     even the point of love
                when we don't care.
sometimes i think i'd rather not know what love feels like
if somehow that would save me
the heartache of heartbreak,
but even bitter coffee burns sometimes.
and i still get my hopes up, even when i know better.

i realize now i've wasted too much time on lukewarm love
     just because i'm always so terrified
     of getting burned, so i don't take risks,
     and i wait too long, and by the time
     either of us cares it is always too late.
and lately i've been dumping coffee in favor of chamomile
               and loving people
     who might love me back
     or might care to know
     who i am, and who we are,
     or could be,
          and that's terrifying
because now you have the option of rejecting me for who i am.
there's no hiding behind apathy
or artificial sweeteners,
but i'm used to heartbreak.
and this time i think i'm willing to get my hopes up.

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19 Reviews

Points: 33
Reviews: 19

Sun Jul 15, 2018 5:19 am
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lilithyoung wrote a review...

Wow I was just scrolling through your page to see what your writing style and just... wow. I am blown away. Thank you for sharing this with the world. You are so so talented and I love this piece as a whole. I love the way that it starts with something so mundane such as pretending to love coffee- as many people do- and ends with the protagonist analyzing their entire approach on love and the outside world. I love the beautiful phrases you utilize in this such as "lukewarm love." I also love the repetition of getting one's hopes up, and the protagonist's different approaches to it in each new stanza.

Beautiful poem. Shows a lot of emotion in a place you didn't expect to find it.

All my love


alliyah says...

Thanks for your comments! :)

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26 Reviews

Points: 631
Reviews: 26

Wed Apr 25, 2018 5:07 am
Siddharth says...

Simply a masterpiece!! Loved it.

alliyah says...

Thanks so much!

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37 Reviews

Points: 1605
Reviews: 37

Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:36 pm
AriannaC wrote a review...

Hi! It's Ari and I'm here to review your work! :D

First, let me tell you some qualities that I really loved in here:

1.I don't think you will find one writer out there who uses coffee and artificial sweeteners in comparison to getting your hopes up over nothing. That is impressively creative!

2. The reader comes in expecting one thing but gets something else.

3. You kept that awesome coffee theme throughout the poem!

Unfortunately, I do have one bone to pick at. I don't know if you meant to do this, but there is no proper capitalization in this at all. Honestly, it doesnt really bother me much but a different reader might say something else. I just hope you noticed that. Jesus loves you!

alliyah says...

Ah the lack of capitalization was a stylistic choice to show the speaker's hesitance, thank you for your feedback! :)
[and PS - Jesus loves you too!]

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Points: 0
Reviews: 0

Sun Apr 22, 2018 4:27 am
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eccedentesiast says...

This is such a beautifully-worded poem that encapsulates all of the feelings it presents and opens the reader up to experiencing it alongside the storyteller.

alliyah says...

Thanks so much! And welcome to Young Writers Society! If you need any help finding your way around the site, be sure to reach out. :)

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209 Reviews

Points: 400
Reviews: 209

Sat Apr 21, 2018 9:35 pm
EverLight wrote a review...

Wow . . . .just wow. I really can't find any problems with this what so ever. Oh maybe someone will critisize it but at least you can know that I didn't. I really love this. I'm sure other people will agree with this. I especially loved how you used artifical sweeteners in there. I also loved that line-but even coffe burns. This is pure genious. Really keep posting. It's good stuff.

alliyah says...

Thanks Katnes! I appreciate it!

EverLight says...

Your welcome! :)

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155 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 155

Sat Apr 21, 2018 6:56 pm
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Arcticus wrote a review...

Firstly, I like how there's this single theme running throughout the poem, with each stanza tied to the other, as if by thin wisps of coffee steam.

I also love how all the three parts of the poem are laced with coffee metaphors for so many things — trust, love and self-reflection to mention a few. This is a brilliant piece and arguably the crown jewel of your NaPo.

Plus the expression "lukewarm love" was pure gorgeousness. I wish I had a few points of criticism too, but I really don't have any. Not for a poem like this.

Keep writing, you're good at this!

alliyah says...

Thanks so much for the review Arcticus, that means a lot coming from you! :)

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271 Reviews

Points: 8
Reviews: 271

Sat Apr 21, 2018 6:23 pm
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Charm says...

omg this is one of my favorite poems...ever. like this is so good! everything about it is so good omg i'm so shook!

Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.
— Matthew 12:25