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you were easy to listen to and hard to hear

by alliyah



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Stickied -- Mon Jan 30, 2023 5:42 pm
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alliyah says...



Hello! This poem is a re-write from NaPo and is inspired by a poetry style I saw that Anthony Cody uses in his poetry book "borderland apocrypha" where you write the poem in progressive columns rather than simply left-to-right. I love the style and experience of reading poems like that, but this is my first attempt at it. This poem is part of a series that I may also get around to posting, but may do so through the "Writers Corner" so that you can see all the poems at once for the full effect.

(also the "Intertwined" in column 3 is supposed to be lowercased, but it looks like it got auto-capitalized, so just pretend it's lowercased please).


Thanks for reading!




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Sat Feb 04, 2023 6:32 am
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RavenNaal wrote a review...



This was super creative! I loved it! I have never seen a poem written in this format, but its makes sense and is super effective. At first it is a little hard to know where to start reading, but after a little looking its clear where to start and where to end. The mix of different spacing makes it a bit harder to understand, with multiple spaces, then to one, then to zig zags and then to none. But that is really the only issue. The poem itself is great and shows a lot of emotion. Very well wrote, great job!




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Thu Feb 02, 2023 12:47 am
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foxmaster wrote a review...



This was so original!!! I loved it so much! I am usually not one for poetry but this is clearly a classic spin on it.
"(you) are not welcome here"
well, that's really something!
"Sounds so conclusive, doesn't it?"
yes it does!
That is all for now... this was really great
-foxmaster




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Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:29 pm
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Jasperbiscuitt wrote a review...



I love this so much!! It is really unique and I love the educational but lingering feeling that this invokes.
My only suggestion would be to maybe space the segments a little differently or add a dashed line between them so it's hard to run them together. Keep writing, though, because you are doing a fantastic job! And you're already very original. Congratulations!




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Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:27 pm
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LadySpark says...



this is stunning.




alliyah says...


<3 <3 <3 Thank you!



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Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:15 pm
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mads08 says...



This is really good. I especially like where it says "I want to give you back some of these pieces of sea glass" where you used the words to make a little curve. It's really unique and i like it a lot.




alliyah says...


Thank you! I appreciate the comment :)



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Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:24 pm
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BluesClues says...



isn't / there /something / terrible / about how / if you find / the edge of / the world / the only way / to know / you're there is / to fall


and

this feels like / a paper crane / that has / been folded / inside out


bye I absolutely adore these lines




alliyah says...


THANK YOU! I love those two sections too! <3




And you have to flaunt the weird, my friends.
— Alex Fierro