Young Writers Society

Firepower takes a couple quick glances around, then creeps over and drops an envelope before driving hastily away. The envelope contains a letter which reads:

I'm going to start by saying your vocabulary is amazing. Seriously, it's beautiful and I had to google a few words I had never even heard before. It conjures a very descriptive and even slightly brutal picture. Is it weird that I started to pity the marble?

The word rise, in the second line, is capitalized. I'm not sure if this was purposeful or not, and if it is referring to some technical term I'm not familiar with.

Heya, Ricky from the Black Knights here to review your lovely poem! I think this is the first time I've ever reviewed for you, but this certainly isn't the first time I've read things from you. This poem is extremely good, as are the rest of the poems I've read from you. You're certainly a very talented poet, and I must give you props for this. You also seem to have a lot of experience with horses, obviously, getting this from the poem. I do like that you added an explanation at the bottom, as I was a little confused about the whole marble thing.

I like that this is written from the mare's point of view. It gives us an inside view to the whole procedure, and how it feels to be the mare in estrus, having a marble inserted into you. It's almost sad; her body thinks she's pregnant, goes on like she's pregnant, even though she really isn't. I can't tell from the poem if she wanted to be pregnant, but it's my interpretation that she did. How she describes it at the end also gets to me, describing it as "fatherless" and "birthless".

This poem made me come back to re-read it several times, which means that it was great. I rarely re-read things, so that's a plus for you!

I'm going to give this a 10/10. It's beautifully written and narrated, and I loved every moment of it. You're extremely talented and I want to see so much more from you. Keep on writing!

hello!
I like this poem! The title really got me interested in reading it so I did and It's really well written so good job! Keep up the good work! I had to read it several times to understand it but that only means it's good enough to take time on! It's pretty flawless!

Stay awesome!
Valerie

This poem is so deep that I had to reread the whole poem twice. (This is a compliment cause most poems are hard to understand at first reads but they're still beautiful) This one is definitely beautiful. I'd be lying if I said that I completely understand the poetry but maybe I'm just not that good at interpreting poems.

AND! You know what caught my attention? It's the title. It piqued my curiosity. I just love your title, it nudged on me like my conscience when I'm at guilt.

Hello.

very interesting concept. o.o
I would've never thought to write a poem about this.

So, I'm super glad that you explained what this was about, because I would have 0 idea had you not. It's an interesting concept, and now that you've read it, I also find it poetic.

I like the second and third stanzas because I understand what they're talking about (again, because you explained), but as for the first one, either it's filled with jargon that I don't know, or it just doesn't make sense to me, or it just doesn't make sense period.
Actually, now that I'm rereading it, it does make sense. The cow is being led into wherever this is happening, and she's being prodded on with spurs. It's just the "haem frothed and burring" part that I don't think I know. Also, the very last line of the poem confuses me too. And also "me clapless necked, cold backed."
But these phrases also give this poem a certain mysterious charm... I like it.

I really like the way you describe this marble though. All the way from "Fatherless" to "birthless" is just <3
I never thought I'd love something about... estrus... as much as I do. And I never thought I'd say that ever in my life. The best thing about this (other than the wonderful word choice, imagery, and meaning), is probably the uniqueness of the subject.

Your title is also nice. And your formatting. It is a wonderful poem, unexpected, but wonderful.
Thank you for writing this, I think I have a slightly different outlook on life.

Great job, keep writing!
~fortis

I was a very interesting poem.I like vivid wording.I like the sensory details.I had a great flow of the word course.I had a stupendous rhythm.I like the more sophisticated word use.I found this piece to be fairly easy to understand.It was a little hard to follow through but that's an easy fix.I really found this piece to be enjoyable.Good luck!!