The Book Man, Chapter 78 (Revised)

by BluesClues

Published July 21, 2014

12+ Violence

In The Book Man

78 THE BATTLE

Afterward, Christian remembered little of the battle itself. He recalled riding toward the center of the clearing, where, according to Morrow’s map, Goblin was. In his absence, it had become marshy and muddy, and it horrified him, how slow the ponies’ running seemed as they slogged over the uneven ground. He was certain Goblin’s allies would careen toward them and wipe them out before they made it halfway across the field.

Narodnaya, on the other hand, was in her glory. She soared high and swooped ahead of the army to meet the oncoming crows. She screeched and chased after them as they flapped backwards, grasped at them with her clawing fingers and bit their heads off until her grey-green face was stained with blood. Christian shivered and ducked behind the spider’s head. The ride jarred his hip, but he gritted his teeth against the pain and clung tighter to the slingshot in his right hand and the cane in his left. The cane would help if he were attacked by a hellhound or anything similar, Mr. Catcher had told him: beat them with the iron head and down they’d go.

Despite the marsh-witch’s efforts, the crows whirled endlessly about them, beating the ponies about the heads with their wings until half of them stood rearing and screaming in the middle of the marsh with their riders trying to urge them forward. The lions and tigers chased after the crows and took savage joy in smashing the birds down with their paws. Their handlers could only cover their heads with their arms and keep running. Some tried to swing their makeshift weapons at the birds, but the crows dove past them, tore at the circus-folks’ faces with their talons and tried to peck their eyes out. Only Aurelia and her sisters passed through safely, blurs of bright color in stark contrast to the black bodies flying around them.

Tirion sent arrows whizzing through the air, stopping only to collect the spent arrows from fallen crows. They died pathetically, squawking once like chickens when hit and then spiraling to the ground, where they landed in a pile of ruffled feathers.

Minerva’s hair loosed and whipped about her face as she swung her frying pan at the birds from the back of her pony. There was a sickening crunch of iron on bone as the pan made contact with a crow’s skull, but she did not notice; she had spotted a pair of harpies.

“Oh, it’s them,” she said with a growl, and she hurled the frying pan at them as if it was a boomerang. It slammed into one of them with a clang and a screech. The harpy flopped to the ground, her skin and feathers smoking where the iron pan touched her and one wing stuck out at an odd angle. Her partner gave a scream that seemed half-human, half-eagle, and turned to Minerva with her eyes burning red. Christian’s stomach flipped in fear at the sight. Minerva was weaponless now, glaring back at the harpy as if she had not realized it, and the beast bared its talons with a shriek and flapped toward her—

Then Narodnaya darted between them with her own horrible screech, but the spider skittered onward and Christian lost sight of all three of them—

He flattened himself atop the spider, nearly lying on his stomach. So far the crows had left his mount alone, just as Morrow had hoped.

He peeked over the spider’s head. Before him rose what appeared to be a writhing mass of black smoke. As the distance to it shortened, he saw it was a collection of frightening creatures: hellhounds and spiders even bigger than his, long-toothed men with matted fur, mournful women with ragged clothes and ashen skin, winged and empty-eyed black horses, cackling hags and more harpies. They ran tight circles together around the center of the clearing.

The last hundred yards to the center went by like the eye of a storm. The surviving crows circled the field at a distance. The two ringmasters and their posse galloped across the line of sight, still pursued by the angry hellhound. Everything went bizarrely, eerily silent, and Christian wasn’t sure if it was actually silent or if he had temporarily lost his hearing. The swirling mass of black fur and wings and ashen bodies seemed to slow in front of him as his spider skittered closer and closer to it.

Then they crashed into it like a wave.

All the sounds returned at once. A pony whinnied shrilly as a spider grabbed it and wrapped it in silk. The black, winged horses with the frightening eyes shrieked as they launched themselves into the sky to dive-bomb the fighters and their ponies, and terror rippled through the army at every shriek. The snarling as lions and tigers got into scuffles with hellhounds was ferocious. The tiger Christian had heard grunting on his way through the crowd in the rose garden leapt upon one of the massive dogs, its injury forgotten, squalling like a cat in heat as the two beasts tumbled through the battle.

The Smithsons rode past him on their broad-backed horse. Liza had the horse’s head and steered it madly as her husband beat back hellhounds with a stick as thick as his arm. He swiped it at one of the ashen-faced women, but it passed through her body as though she was not there. He blinked, wide-eyed. The women opened her mouth, looking as if she might cry; instead, after a moment, she let out a long wail.

“Saints preserve us, they’re banshees,” Christian heard his friend moan, and then they rode away.

Already he had lost track of Morrow and Tirion as his spider scuttled through the fight. He was unarmed except for the cane and the slingshot, and as he was supposed to stay out of sight as long as possible, he had simply hidden his face in the spider’s back and hoped for the best. He had to make his way toward the center of the ruckus, where Morrow said the entrance to Goblin’s prison should be. But he had no idea how to steer the spider and he could not see anyway and besides there were too many bodies to steer around, and how had he ever gotten himself mixed up in this awful business, he wondered as the body of Waylan Ryder went flying past him, limp and bloodied—

Then, from somewhere just ahead of him, he heard Morrow shout, “Christian! Now!”

“Oh, dear,” he said to himself, “oh, dear,” but he leapt sideways from the spider’s back. The slingshot slipped away from him and landed somewhere in the grass, though he managed to keep ahold of his cane. He saw his spider launch itself at another, larger spider, and for a split second he hoped his spider would be alright. Then he hit the ground with a grunt and rolled along the muddy grass until he was out of everyone’s way.

He sat up and rubbed his hip. Before him was a stone-framed tunnel leading underground, almost hidden in the sod. Morrow and Tirion crouched in its entrance. The elf’s bow was drawn and he glanced about the battlefield, sending an arrow wherever he saw one of their number losing a fight. His green eyes were alert, calculating, but Morrow’s face was drawn as he watched the fighting.

“You don’t have to come,” Christian said. “If you’d rather stay here and fight—”

“Out of the question,” said Tirion, neatly sending another arrow into the fray. It landed with a satisfying thud in the hind leg of one of the winged horses, which let out a shriek. “You’re not a fighter, and if one man alone is not enough to guard you and guide your way then the fight is lost no matter who does battle up here. Get in.”

Christian looked at Morrow, who nodded without taking his eyes from the battle.

“Go on,” he said. His voice had lost all its earlier vigor. “We’ll be right behind you.”

Christian ducked down and slid into the tunnel.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Deanie
Comment
Deanie commented Comment · Sep 18, 2014

Hi Blue!

Loving this! Just a small note here: I see the word 'shriek' way to much in this chapter. It started to stand out a bit, and even though you used quite a few synonyms for the word in here already, do try and cut down on it a bit more?

Otherwise, I better keep on reading through the battle ^^

Deanie x

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TimmyJake
Review
TimmyJake wrote a review Review · Sep 18, 2014

Timmy here!

This will be a short review because, even though it's full of fun action, there isn't much to talk about. Let's get started.

Afterward, Christian remembered little of the battle itself. He recalled riding toward the center of the


I didn't like this, and I can't give you a eloquent reason for my dislike, but here is the only reason I can give. It's in the future. As far as writing goes, what does being in the future and remembering the past achieve for the moment. Now the entire battle is a memory of the past? But wait. I thought you were already writing past-tense? I know it doesn't really make sense, what I am saying here, because I am terrible at expressing myself and what I want to say. The rest of this is written in past tense, but as it's happening - if you know what I'm saying. This part is telling us about after the battle, and right before it, and so is something we dun really care about. I think?

clearing, where, according to Morrow’s map, Goblin was.


Is this the first I've seen of this map? O_o

and she hurled the frying pan at them as if it was a boomerang.


So I am trying to think about this, and how it would work. And I just came to the conclusion that I didn't think it would work.... You use both arms when throwing things, one for balance, the other for the throw - so perhaps small issue there. And you need a lot of strength to throw a frying pan. Cast-iron. Very heavy. I don't even know if I could do it. It also depends on the size of the pan, so maybe if it's a smaller one? Perhaps you could squeeze a description of the frying pan in there? :P

satisfying thud in the hind leg of one of the winged horses,


Is Tirion not an elf? I would think he would've gotten a little closer to the vitals than that, based on how you describe his shooting so far.

I believe that is all I have to say on this chapter as far as critique goes - little as they may be, just making sure everything is covered, whether make believe or truly existing. The fighting was, just as I expected, very good and visual and fun to read and you did it all just right. I could hear the sounds, and see the blood, and everything else. It was really cool how you skipped around on the different senses to give us a very well rounded picture here. I wonder what is down in this tunnel, and how the army will survive without Morrow and Tirion - the only two real soldiers in the entire mix, if I have understood everything correctly. It seems as though one of them could stay back, but perhaps I am underestimating Goblin and whatever forces lie below. I must journey on and see what lies inside this tunnel. I must. Yes.
~Darth Timmyjake

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Iggy
Review
Iggy wrote a review Review · Jul 27, 2014

Hi ^^

Okay so I noticed a few changes right away. Didn't Liza stay with Minerva? I don't remember Minerva ever fighting. I remember the loss of her arm had her incapable of fighting, and of course, Christian wouldn't let her fight. I think Liza stayed back to watch over and protect Minerva. Right?

Either way, it's nice to see her fighting; I mean, she's throwing pans for god's sake! And she only has one arm! That's pretty awesome. She must be strong, though, 'cause iron pans are heavy. I do like that you made iron a weakness for the harpies. Makes me think of the faeries and how they are also affected, with the skin burning and the pain.

As said before, there's lots of nice and juicy action going on here! I love the vivid imagery, the balance you put in keeping the action going, but paced. I can feel myself getting into the scene, like it's playing on a movie screen, jumping from one fight to another while keeping the focus on Christian. The part about how everything slowed down and got eerily quiet was also awesome. Usually that only happens if the main character is knocked down and is dazed, so using that was pretty cool.

Overall, I found this to be a pleasure to read ^^ I feel that you might have added more details, maybe? Everything seems more intense! Maybe it's just me? Anywhoo, it was still freaking awesome to read. Such action, much wow!

Hope this helps. :)

~Iggy

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dragonfphoenix wrote a review Review · Jul 27, 2014

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day! (And gotta heart ALL the Pokemons!!!)

They died pathetically, squawking once like chickens when hit and then spiraling to the ground,

Nintendo Duck Hunt. 'Nuff said. :D

He peeked over the spider’s head. Before him rose what appeared to be a writhing mass of black smoke. As the distance to it shortened, he saw it was a collection of frightening creatures: hellhounds and spiders even bigger than his, long-toothed men with matted fur, mournful women with ragged clothes and ashen skin, winged and empty-eyed black horses, cackling hags and more harpies. They ran tight circles together around the center of the clearing.

Let the faceless and meaningless masses' massacre begin. Final stage, one life remaining. Go!
Okay, sorry. But I couldn't help but think of that as an endless wave boss fight. It's not really a bad thing, but it just was there.
On a more literary note, do you have any "Trusted Lieutenant" character for Goblin? Or is it just Goblin himself? Because if he's breaking out or whatever, he needs a supporting cast, too. And it gives the battle a more specific focus to have these minor villains we've followed come into play, and lends more significance to the enemy's defeat when we've seen villains being villains and then get to watch their downfall. (That may be somewhere in the series, but just from what I've read I get the feeling it's not.)

The tiger Christian had heard grunting on his way through the crowd...

Two instant thoughts upon reading that sentence. One, tigers do not grunt. Ever. It's undignified. :P Two, in a fight, a tiger would be dead silent when stalking its prey. Have you ever seen clips of tigers attacking people who were trying to tag it (for conservation and what have you)? They're there, and then they just disappear. A whirling maelstrom of bodies would be almost perfect cover for such an ambush.

He swiped it at one of the ashen-faced women

I've been feeling like there are extra words throughout the piece, but most of them are stylistically fine. This one, however, needs note.
Get rid of the "it." Is he swiping his arm or the stick at her? I know it's somewhat technically both, but it not only read better, it feels better. Try it out and see what I mean.

The slingshot slipped away from him...

Besides the fact that that just irks me (because I grow weary of authors needlessly removing important and/or sentimentally significant items), that should not have happened. You made it sound like he had it in hand (which he should have had the entire time), and then he just drops it when he jumps off? Uh-uh. With that much adrenaline coursing through him, coupled with clinging on for dear life to the back of a giant spider, he'd have a death grip on that thing. It wouldn't just "slip" out.
And no sticking it in his pocket and having it fall out, or trying to convincingly have some faceless or meaningless enemy knock it out.

Edit:
I've come back now!

Okay, because I've read the next chapter since I started this review.
though he managed to keep ahold of his cane.

A) Why did he manage that and dropped the slingshot? B) What purpose does the cane even serve? I don't remember you mentioning it at all, especially when it would have come in handy on stairs. But hey. :P

And I think that's it, actually. :D

Hope this helps!



*gestures in butterfly meme*
— BluesClues