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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Book Man, Chapter 90 [Or, The End] (Revised)

by BluesClues


90 SOME YEARS LATER

The locals called it the Greenhouse. The outer walls were entirely made up of windows that afforded a view of the interior, which was almost entirely filled with rose plants. Tea roses and musk roses stood in pots on the floor. Climbing roses snaked up the walls and wrapped themselves around supports or draped the legs of the numerous tables that held young rose plants, potting soil, and compost.

The youngsters of the Town loved the Greenhouse and would press their noses to the glass for a better view of the flowers, but the older residents remembered a time when it had been called the Book House and accommodated a shy accountant instead of rose plants.

Christian Abernathy, silver-haired and slightly stooped, sat on the pavement across from his old home each day while his wife unlocked the door of the Greenhouse and slipped inside to water the roses. With him, he had a wagonload of books. While Sarah cared for the roses, he sat on a folding chair and handed out free books to those who wanted them. Oftentimes, people brought him their old books in exchange for his; his collection was ever-changing but never growing.

When Sarah came back out of the Greenhouse, she opened Conrad Smithson’s old balloon-cart for the day. She had not known how to make balloon-animals when Christian first met her, but she had risen to the challenge of learning and loved it so much she soon surpassed Christian in ability. When she had retired last year, she’d taken charge of the balloon-cart and sat at it each day, passing out balloon-animals, even as her husband sat with his wagon of books. Her hands were arthritic and typing had become difficult in the last few months before retirement, but she seemed to forget about her pain whenever her hands flew over the balloons, turning them into turtles and monkeys and ladybirds.

This particular Saturday was sunny and pleasantly warm, a slow day for customers. Plenty of people were out and about and said cheery hellos to the Abernathys as they passed the balloon-cart and wagon, but they were impatient to get into Celadon Park and enjoy the weather. Christian and Sarah did not mind. They, too, enjoyed the weather and had been able to close up temporarily at lunchtime when their son, Robert, had brought his youngest daughter for a visit. But now their son and granddaughter were gone, off to fetch Robert’s wife from the train station after a week-long trip to Paris.

Christian sat back in his chair with a yawn, but Sarah said, “Could we take our walk now?”

They had gotten into the habit, lately, of closing early on Saturdays and taking a turn about the park. It was so big that, though they had been walking farther and farther each Saturday for a month, they had not yet been all the way to the rose garden. When Christian had been his thirties, the distance had not seemed so great. Now, at seventy-two, with the old pain in his hip, he found he had to practice walking to get his legs willing to go the distance.

But after all, he thought to himself, it was only mid-afternoon, and perhaps they could make it if they walked slowly.

“Alright,” he said, so they closed up the balloon-cart and left a sign on the wagon of books which said take one—they’re free! Then they made their slow way through Celadon Park.

People waved and called hello as they passed by, and one little girl cried out, “Mummy! It’s the book man and the balloon lady,” and ran over to greet them (much to her mother’s embarrassment). Sarah smiled.

“The book man and the balloon lady,” she said. “I like that. Much better than an accountant and the head of marketing.”

The clearing that had once held the Fair each night was edged with parents watching their children rush about in a game of Tag. Christian took Sarah’s hand as he led her around its edge to avoid being run into. He was not good at getting up when he was knocked over, these days, even with the help of his cane.

A small tree with crimson leaves stood not far from the edge of the gardens. Beneath the tree knelt a man even older than Christian. He had a hard face, his white hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and his dusky hands were folded before him as if he was praying over a gravesite. He caught the accountant’s eye and nodded. Christian raised a hand in greeting but said nothing.

“A friend of yours?” Sarah inquired.

“An old flat-mate,” Christian said.

“How lovely. We should have him for tea some time.”

Christian thought it unlikely the man would accept, but he said, “That would be nice.”

They had been a little ways into the gardens before, but it was their first time in the maze and Christian had to stop frequently and trace back through his memory to remember which way to turn at each crossing. Sometimes he did not remember, and they had to backtrack and go the other way. Sarah found this a cause for hilarity and laughed delightedly whenever it happened.

“It’s a bit like going on an adventure,” she said.

“A bit,” Christian conceded with a fond smile.

Finally he found the center of the maze, but the statue of Morrow the Elder and his horse had been replaced with a strange piece of modern art that reminded Christian of nothing so much as a gigantic tissue someone had thrown away.

“Oh,” he said sadly.

“What is it?”

“Rath is gone.”

“Rath?”

“Once,” Christian said, “there was a statue here of a Rover king and his horse, Rath. But I suppose they must have replaced it when the statue was ruined—the king was ruined, that is. Rath was still in perfect condition.”

“It is a shame,” Sarah said, sensing a change in his mood. They made their way out of the maze in silence, but when she saw the roses, Sarah cried, “Oh!”

They were as beautiful as ever—more beautiful than ever. Although there was no magic in them now, many of them were roses the Abernathys had grown in the Greenhouse and donated to the park when it had extended the gardens. They had parted with their roses willingly, but since they had never walked so far into the park, they had never before seen the addition.

“Oh,” said Sarah again. “They’re doing beautifully. I am glad we decided to donate them.”

Christian did not answer, for he was staring with a tilted head along the cobblestone path through the rose beds.

“Christian?”

“Mmm?” He shook his head. “Sorry. My brain fuzzed out for a minute. I’m alright now.”

They continued down the cobblestone path, through more and more beautiful rose beds, and Christian’s memories stirred as they went. It had been such a long time since he’d been through here, nearly forty years. He had never wanted to go back, after Goblin and the Good Magic and the dawn. But then his wife decided they needed exercise, and a weekly walk in the park was just about the only activity they were both strong enough for.

He paused beneath the trellis, but Sarah said, “Thank God, a bench. I need to sit for a minute.”

She settled on the bench. Christian went slowly around the pool after her, gazing up at the one-armed marble statue that stood on a marble pedestal behind his wife’s seat. The gentle smile frozen on her face was exactly as he remembered it. He sighed, a little wistfully. But Sarah was a good wife, his best friend, and he loved her. He did not regret their life together.

“Christian?” she said, giving him quizzical smile. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, yes,” he said. He sat beside her on the bench and rubbed his hip, glad of the rest. “Just remembering.”

“Remembering what?”

He shook his head, smiling to himself.

“Oh, come on,” Sarah said. “You haven’t told me a good story in years.”

“You wouldn’t believe me,” Christian said.

“I don’t care if it’s a whopper.” Sarah leaned against his shoulder comfortably and said, “Tell me a good tall tale, Mr. Abernathy.”

She used to call him that just to embarrass him with the false formality, because he had still been so shy when they started dating. She never abandoned the habit, but he grew to like it. He put an arm around her. The wind stirred in the trees.

“Well,” he said, “once, there was a house. The locals called it the Book House…”


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Wed Oct 08, 2014 1:17 pm
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TimmyJake wrote a review...



Timmy here!

This last chapter was both sad and happy at the same time, kind of like the bitter-sweet ending that we readers both hate and adore at the same time. While we are happy that Christian has found love and found himself a new life but still holding dear his old adventures and old ways, we are sad that Minerva isn't the woman he walks through the gardens with.

I liked this chapter a lot, especially the walk through the gardens and how it all ends with him beginning the tale to his wife... a most excellent beginning and ending of the book. The last sentence was perfect. <3 I am adoring this last chapter.

I do have a few things to say about it before I scamper away. Too many technical stuff we don't need to know. Since this is the end of our journey following Christian, a lot of these things seemed superfluous to me and cluttering up the chapter. So, like this part --

They, too, enjoyed the weather and had been able to close up temporarily at lunchtime when their son, Robert, had brought his youngest daughter for a visit. But now their son and granddaughter were gone, off to fetch Robert’s wife from the train station after a week-long trip to Paris.


--doesn't really add anything to the story in my opinion because it doesn't really matter to the story at all. Think about what you want to accomplish in this chapter (which I think would simply amount to instilling in the reader's mind that Christian is, indeed, happy) and then omit everything that stands in the way of presenting that as clearly as possible. Like, I don't think the part about the arthritis adds anything to it at all, because we aren't going to spend anymore time with Sarah, so we don't need to know that.

90 SOME YEARS LATER


Now, at seventy-two, with the old pain in his hip


How does that work?

Sometimes he did not remember, and they had to backtrack and go the other way


perfect. <3

of modern art that reminded Christian of nothing so much as a gigantic tissue someone had thrown away.


Again, perfect. <3 I can't say any more on that for that description.

He sighed, a little wistfully. But Sarah was a good wife, his best friend, and he loved her. He did not regret their life together.


When I read this part, I thought you could have extended it a bit more? It didn't sound like a full idea to me, but like you pulled some of it out. I think a tad more on the part with Christian looking up at Minerva (I did like how you didn't use her name, although I don't know why) and the part with Sarah and how she was a good wife and his best friend and all that stuff. Maybe a little bit longer? This is your wrap-up. I think a little longer would do it good, show that he truly is happy and not regretting. A show moment rather than a tell moment. Maybe have him describe Sarah's face a little bit, some endearing feature of hers, so she can be closer to us, as well.

***********************************************

That was for the chapter - I have a bit on the book to say. And I think some orderliness would help the readability of this review. :D Forgive me if I ramble.

This story has been my longest project ever attempted on YWS, and one I admit I was hesitant to begin because of the daunting review numbers (and for other reasons you know of), but once I got into it, I just felt like I had become a part of Christian's world and the next review wasn't a labor at all. I felt like I was truly honored to be typing out the reviews, to be nitpicking things that I wished I didn't have to say because it broke the feeling I had while reading it. I am rarely transported into another world, both by the images and the feeling of the story, but with this book I was honestly inside your character and inside your story. I could feel everything that went on with everyone, and everything. This story enraptured me and sucked me in like no story has ever done, and I thank you for letting me experience that.

Christian's journey through both himself and the Otherworld, the park - and everywhere along the line - was an amazing and inspiring thing to read. It was truly wonderful to see him change, see him become stronger and more sure of himself, and yet not change. No matter what happened to Christian, and what befell everyone around him, he never changed into another person. The Christian at the end of the story was the same Christian as at the ending, just... more. He felt like more of a whole person. And so did I.

I can say it again and again. This story was beautiful, down to every scene, every description, every word. You are truly an inspiring writer, and I hope I can write as good as you when I "grow up". :)

Thank you for writing this beautiful novel. I don't know what else to say.
I demand first copy. Well, as long as Iggy and Deanie and Messenger and Pompadour and Aurora99 and Bob next door doesn't scramble to it before me.

If you ever want me to take another look at a certain chapter, give you feedback anywhere in this book or elsewhere, you know where to find me. :)

~Darth Timmyjake, signing out for the final time.
I suppose I should use this, at least once.
Image




BluesClues says...


Ha ha! That is the first time you've used that, isn't it? Well, sir, you may, in fact, be the first person in Adopt-a-Novel to finish an entire novel.

of modern art that reminded Christian of nothing so much as a gigantic tissue someone had thrown away.


There is actually a piece of art like this at our local botanical gardens.

The 90 is actually the chapter number, but I didn't realize when I wrote it this way that people keep reading it as part of the title, "ninety-some years later" rather than "Chapter 90: Some Years Later." Shall have to consider that. Thank you for reading, sir.



timmyjake says...


You're welcome. It's been fun.



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Thu Oct 02, 2014 7:19 pm
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Deanie says...



Oh, I have love rereading this as much as I enjoyed it the first time round.

You better hurry up and get this published, Blue. I am waiting to have my copy of it on my shelf ;)

Deanie x




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Sun Sep 28, 2014 5:07 pm
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Aravis10 wrote a review...



Aravis, here to review! Happy Review Day! I must warn you that I have not read the rest of your chapters, and the end is probably not the best place to start. But I will try to give you a helpful review anyway!
I must say that I really liked this. It made me want so much to read the rest of it. I had this weird sense that this was amazing ending to an even better book. I felt like I needed to cry but I didn't know why. This couple is super cute, and you have a great title. This could be a short review.
Throughout your story, you fell into telling instead of showing. I can understand why. It has been 90 years since your last chapter and you want your readers to be mostly caught up with the important things that have happened.

left a sign on the wagon of books which said take one—they’re free!
I would put this in quotes. So it would say "Take one-they're free!"
Mummy! It’s the book man and the balloon lady,” and ran over to greet them (much to her mother’s embarrassment).
Avoid parentheses. They are considered sloppy writing. (Don't worry; I do it too.) Oops. I just did. ;)
Seriously, this couple is just the cutest. I hope my future husband and I are this sweet when we are old. Thanks for the good read!
Go Green!!!!!!!!




BluesClues says...


I would put this in quotes. So it would say "Take one-they're free!"


Oops. In my MS Word document I think I have this in small caps, but small caps don't transfer onto YWS...and I forgot to change it. My bad.

Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)



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Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:06 pm
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TheCrimsonLady wrote a review...



Hello, love.
Aurora here with a review day review for you.

Oh. My. God.
I'm crying right now.
But... but... but...
Everything needs to work out perfectly for Christian! And... and... *pulls self together*

Only one nitpick for you, darling:
With him, he had a wagonload of books.
That reads oddly.
He had a wagonload of books with him is much better. :)

And that the end of the nitpicks.

I think you could take the walk slower, describe the garden more from Christian's point of view at what, seventy two, I think you said?

But the very end... it's so sad and happy at the same time...

You've broken my heart.

I don't have anything else to tell you.

Keep persisting, love.
~Aurora




BluesClues says...


You've broken my heart.


*maniacal laughter in the distance*




=-=
— JazzElectrobass