Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,043 Reviews
OMG Hello! I'm here for both "Adopt a novel" and a Review day review!
automated message how do I do it?
Hey, one thing I never pointed out is how I like your titles! Well, this one especially, but the first session was just as 'useless' as this one. Well, I believe every title so far was rather good.
Ha, Dr. is attacking him quite a lot this time, and he is being pretty personal. Though it's mostly suble. I like this.
Oh, well, there is a paragraph where Robbie acknowledges it, huh. I swear I reached this on my own. xD
Hm, Dr's little breakdown and monologue was strange to me though, and calling Robert shit especially. He was much more subltle usually, so I'm not sure about that.
Kay, I'm somewhat confused about this chapter. Since Robbert is narrating, well, we know this breakdown shouldn't be his own trick. He DID break. But the very end, you said he smirked. Why? That would probably tell that he was just acting to trick doctor. I don't get this. It would have worked with third person narration but with him narrating, I don't see it working honestly. This might be a first complaint I have to your novel so far, but let me proceed and read it all, and we will see.
I also can't believe he won't acknowledge Keith as father when he's desperately looking for one. I mean the guy is trying his best! He wasn't even insulting him, the way Robert talks about it.
Good read, going on. I'm glad I adopted your novel.
-Alchemist
Heggo again.
The tone of this chapter is really ironic:
hee hee
One of the things I like most about this piece is the ability is has to make people life. (considering robert's breakdown later on)
A note on that.. it all happens rather quickly.
Like, he turns on his principles and everything he has said up to this point like that *clicks fingers*
'it's as if Greenway- for all of his flaws- is the father I wanted to have met, instead of an ageing wannabe-rockstar.' Like, make up your mind what you're telling the reader!
Aside from that, it's again good for showing the inner turmoils of your protagonist and an excellent way of putting the character into their point of view.
Keep writing hunny. :_
<3
Hey Adam. ^^ I'm staying up to review both of the next installments, then crashing. You should feel special.
Debate with people, you mean?
Okay, so. This chapter. Wow.
I might be evil, but Robert finally just letting go made me very happy. It's totes okay to cry *nods* I cry a bit too much <_< but since he's so viciously against it, seeing him finally subcome to it is nice. Shows me that he's human and just looking for some understanding, here. x)
I adore Mr. Greenway. I know Robert hates him, but his heart is in the right place and all he wants to do is help the disturbed teenager. I do hope he pulls out the psychiatricness and tells us why he thinks Robert is having these hallucinations, because they're so random and I don't understand why they are happening. o_o
But this was really good. I like that Mr. Greenway finally blew up on Robert, who in turn finally broke down and cried. Although I do think his crying fest was over quickly. At least he cried though!
Off to read the next chapter. ^^
~Iggy
Alright, let's kinda skip the intro and just dig in, shall we? :3
Love that he added 'to me anyway'. It actually makes me respect him a little. Just a little. Also, I love how the first line is worded like 'emotions' are this deadly influenza. xDLiked that the sessions were separated by the last chapter and that you're numbering them via chapter title.
Robert took the words out of my mouth with his response to the first question. xD And it's such an odd question/word choice: 'emotions'. But love it, nonetheless. Lol. xD
Interesting demonstration of Robert's character/belief. However, this is repetitive/redundant. The quote seems necessary for the continuation of the plot. I would suggest combining the irony sentence as a monologue attachment to Robert's quote and omitting the rest of the monologue after the counselor's quote.
Would suggest putting a comma after 'moment' since 'you can't' can be omitted without disrupting flow and logic in the sentence.
Tense agreement issue. Change to 'I noticed that he's...'
Tense agreement: 'matches' and 'aggression is Keith'.
Another great chapter. Hoped this helped!