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Hey, here again for an "Adopt a novel" review!

This chapter. Its really good becouse of its mystery, though, it might be a bit too much of it. The reason I say is becouse not everyone will have nerves or really want to sit for a longer time and try to understand every little symbol of this dream. Though an absolute positive is that people will be able to subjectively understand it.

This new weakness Robert is expiriencing was rather sudden. And he definitely felt it in reality, it is clear when he woke up.

He somehow tends to see himself as the savior of the world or something, heh? Not surprising at all, actually.

Well, someone mentioned earlier... I guess Stephen/Katie kiss symbolises how he is actually torn about who is he 'in love' with. Well he surely acknowledges them both.

I can see that there are dozens more of symbols. To be honest, your vocabulary was strange(in positive) here, but I couldn't really understand few words.

-Alchemist

Okay so wow. Forget the rest of this chapter, because wow. That dream.

I can't even form into words my amazement. You described that so wonderfully. The imagery was vivid and vibrant and felt so real, like each sentence was dripping with details for the mind to envision. The scenes themselves were confusing, but accurate, since when do dreams ever make much sense anyways? This shows us more of Robert's inner thoughts and how stressed he is; it also hints towards his growing affection for Stephen, by the demon Stephen grabbing his crotch and asking him if he wanted him.

The part of them kissing shows us exactly how much Robert's subconscious wants them both, even if he won't admit it. The part about the old lady was a bit confusing, but I assume you out that in there to signify something? If so, I wonder what? Just someone to represent his anxiety and such? Because her singing was random and I'm trying to understand what it signified.

I loved the ending of the dream. The paparazzi and his fear of people finding out his innermost feelings is displayed here.

I do feel that the ending was a bit weak compared to that intense dream. The descriptions are simple, which is good, since we just got a bunch of them in the dream and any more is overwhelming, but what does he think of it? Is he just pushing it off? What I want to know most is how it made him feel, so if you can add some more emotion into the end, that would be great. I know he's tired and dazed and confused, but at least some confusion and insight on his thoughts will work.

But that dream though. I loved it. I'm amazed with everything I've read so far. You're doing great! Such beautiful writing. I can't wait to read more c:

~Iggy

Heyo baby!

*huggles*

I am SO glad that you posted chapter 5 so quickly. I was itching to know what happened and it is brilliant!

The dream sequence was
a) a great idea and
b) Brilliantly written.

I have never seen such a well constructed piece of work in terms of sharing chronological ideas that are totally mindboggling. Now, obviously you explained to me the significance of the images in the dream, but I won't reveal them here because that would be a spoiler for other people.

But now that you said it totally makes sense and it was actually really clever. Mr Freud.

'Sudden awakening. Shivering. Darkness. Blind. Glasses. I put them on. The room is the same as before. Just a dream. Doesn’t mean anything. Right?' I especially like this bit when he comes out of the dream because it is so sudden and also accurate of how you would feel when you wake up from something as intense as that.

In the dream itself, I loved this line: 'Looking up, I can only watch as Katie and Stephen start to kiss passionately.' because the event it features, really builds sympathy for Robert's character and the predicament he is currently in. You give the reader a great sense that he doesn't have a handle on what's going on and that's quite sad because you want him to be ok.

As he's progressed you have definitely generated as less arsey protagonist which is also beneficial to your plotline.
I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter and I think, seeing how your writing improves each time, that we can only expect greater things from you as this progresses.

Lots of love.

-kisses-

Moi. <3

Wow, this is the best work I have read on here so far. I get easily distracted and end up reading one paragraph of a story and then stopping, going to another and never going back to the original. But this was amazing, most dreams described in books are simple because it's easier that way. But yours was hooking, deep and so cool! I loved it!! I definitely need to read more of this book. I was so hooked, I'm supposed to be studying lol Rather read your writing though any day! Ahh, this was so good! Your writing style was awesome but maybe you used too many sentences at the end beginning with 'I', but seriously who cares when otherwise your writing is awesome!