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Pokemon Ultimate Evolution Season 2: Episode 10, An Annoyingly Vivid Colour

by dark


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

"Well, I'm glad that's all over, Zek." I sighed.

"Don't speak Ryan, just let the wind blow through your hair and enjoy the morning breeze. It's not often I get outside, you know." He replied. "And please, refrain from the shortening of the name, thank you. Zek sounds like a nickname you'd give to a hyperactive, newly hatched Fletchling."

"Fine, fine. Just lightning it back to Fearahu so Cristina and I can get some well deserved rest."

"Understood." Zekrom said, the generator in his tail whirring loudly. In instant we were back in front of my house in all its glory. "By the way Ryan, I noticed that Rustboro City wasn't far from the forest, we've been in The Metalistor region the whole time."

"Fill me in later." I yawned. I jumped off of Zekrom's back and took Cristina out of his arms. She started to stir and hum.

"She looks so innocent." Zekrom said.

"Zekrom, innocence is a lie. Things can act innocent, look innocent and very well be innocent, but it will alway end up in a lie. Therefore, all innocence is just one big lie. Keep that in the back of your mind. Might come in handy when you least expect it." I answered.

"Uh... Okay." Zekrom transformed into energy and absorbed into my back like always.

I walked into the house and set Cristina down on the nearest bed. Jason and Donna were sleeping, sitting up with their backs against the wall on the next bed over. Jason was hugging onto her tightly with his head laying innocently on her chest. I couldn't help but giggle a bit.

If she managed to keep him company all night then she must be alright. What a twisted girl. I wonder what goes through her mind. I could have sworn she was bent on having me killed just days ago, but now she's sleeping in my house, as an ally. I can't shake the feeling that she's planning to fool me like Alex did.

"Donna, you can leave now. Everything has been dealt with." I said loudly. She and Jason's eyes flew open. Jason realized where he was resting his rest and instantly pulled away from Donna, blushing redder than ever. Donna stretched and yawned.

"Jeez, Ryan. Great way to wake someone up huh?" She said.

"Ugh, just get out before I change my mind. I still don't trust you." I answered.

"Good. Makes things a lot more fun." Donna said, walking toward the door. "Thanks for offering you sincere hospitality and I wish you and Cristina well. I'm not sorry for sending people after you either, by the way."

"I knew you couldn't have changed in the past hours, hag." I smiled. "Just keep your distance, and I'll keep mine. What do ya say, hmm?"

"Fine with me." She walked out of the door, pulled an Enchanter Ball off her belt and sent out a large sized Fearow. She hopped on it's back and looked back at me and said, "By the way, I didn't offer to help you for you. I did it for Cristina. I couldn't stand it if a pervert like Alex got his hands on a little girl. What's happened to him?"

"Gone for good, that's a promise." I said.

"Oh, great!" She smiled. Her Fearow ascended into the air. Donna turned towards me again and said, "Hey! Keep those sparks smoking, Ry," before flying back towards Fearahu. I had the feeling that that would be the last time we'd see each other and that made me smile.

I trudged back inside and let the door, slowly close itself behind me.

"So Jason, I guess you're a chest lover huh? I saw how you were pressing your cheeks again's Donna's chest." I laughed.

"It was an accident, Ryan!" He yelled.

"I'm messing with you. I even have a tell. Try and look for it next time, okay?" I smirked.

"Yeah, sure." He answered. "So, what happened to Alex?"

"He was never related to us, Jason. Now he's suffering at the bottom of a lake. Enough said." I answered, sitting down next to Cristina.

"Oh, cool." Jason looked at Cristina with a worried expression. "Is she gonna be okay?"

"Worst case scenario, I'll have to put her in one of the healer beds for an hour or so. I guessing she heals quickly like you and I so she'll be fine either way." I said. "We just have to let her rest, even though I doubt a loud sound would wake her up anyway."

"I hope she wakes up soon." Jason said. He got up and went upstairs to take a bath.

I materialized a short, soft bristled brush in my hands and began to brush Cristina's hair back into the slicked back shape it was it before. After I finished, I let the brush de-materialize and I stared at her sleeping face still looking as beautiful as ever even with all of the dust all over it. I tried to get up to let her rest but, I couldn't leave her alone. I was compelled to hug her closer to me.

"I love you." I whispered in her ear.

________________________

Violet went back to Devon Corp. to return the key to our old room. Burrow noticed the saddened look on her face.

"What's the matter, honey?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing. Ryan just dropped the big bombshell on me that he wanted to break off our relationship." She answered.

"That's right, he left to go live in the Abstar region!" Burrow exclaimed. "Cheer up, Violet. I'm sure Ryan wouldn't want you to beat yourself up about it. It just wasn't meant to be. Ryan does have to channel three legendary Pokemon at once. Who knows how his feelings work. It always puzzles me... A-anyway, thanks for returning the key."

"Violet there you are!" Shouted a man in a purple jacket behind Violet.

"Oh great. I forgot you were coming back to town, Vivid." Burrow said. His expression quickly shifted from sympathetic to irritated.

"Yes, I am Vivid Colourless, the man with the most contrast in Rustboro!" He shouts again.

"Spare me the monologue, ya goof. I've no need to listen to it for the hundredth time this year."

Violet walked passed Vivid and started towards home.

"Uh, bye Violet!" Burrow yelled from behind.

"Darling I mean no harm, I only long to know the source of your despair. What is it? Love sickness, boy troubles, you can tell me. I'm all ears!" Vivid said, still managing to follow her.

"Call it what you want, I'll get over. I'm capable of handling personal problems on my own." Violet said, in between clenched teeth. She made her irritation clear.

"No need to get all snip snippy, Vi. Sounded like some jerk named Ryan shattered your fragile little heart huh? Pray tell, my dear." Vivid insisted.

"Fine! You want to know what happened so bad! Why don't you go find Ryan. He's living in Fearahu City. His house is probably black since that's his favorite color."

"Then that's just what I'll do. I the famous television star, Vivid Colourless shall always succeed, and my lovely daughter is going to help me do it!" Vivid shouted once more. He grabbed Violet by her wrist and dragged her toward the Rustboro airport.

"You always succeed? I don't think that was the case when mom dumped your ass." Violet laughed.

"Don't remind me, Vi. Please don't..."

________________

I fell asleep hugging Cristina and I hadn't move an inch since then. Jason left a note on the desk next to the bed.

"Went to explore Fearahu. Stop worrying about Cristina, you said she'd be fine," Was all it said. I did say that and I wasn't worried. I was just tired.

I pulled myself away from her, switched on a lamp, and pulled Gavin and Jill's Krystal Balls out of my pockets. I went in to the room with the healing beds and placed them in the bed with small groves for holding Pokeballs. I yawned and went to release Zekrom into his chamber. He shot out of my arm, let out a loud, gruff snort and roared.

"Why do you always make me go in here?" He asked.

"Who said I was making you? The roof opens up so you can leave whenever. How do you think Arceus got out?"

"I don't know! Arceus is basically you in a constant fit. Always mad about something, and so unpredictable." He roared again.

"Okay, bye! Stop making noise." I shouted closing the door in his face. I needed some quiet time for a while, so I drew a boiling hot bath, sparked my clothes away and slipped into it. I stayed in inside of it until the water cooled down to a lukewarm temperature which took many long hours. The bath made me think of Violet.

I hope I didn't tell her where I live. Damn, but she probably knows black is my favorite color... She'd be able to spot the only place painted black in Fearahu that wasn't a skyscraper. Although, right now she'd be okay company. Although I doubt sh'd want to be around me right now. I was a bit too harsh about breaking up. Well, nothing I can do about it now.

"She could be here and I wouldn't even notice..." I said out loud.

"If you're talking about me then you must be psychic, Ry-Ry. You're still doing the boiling water thing, huh?"

My fault for never locking my door. Well, It can't be all bad...

"It feels great to be one with the temperature of the water. It could be good for my skin too, not that I need that in the first place." I answered, opening my eyes. "So tell me, how did you get here?"

"My dad spent a lot of money for an express flight here. He thinks that we should get back together." She said, wrapping her arms around my neck. "He'll be here any minute, so not that I care whether he lives or dies. He's always relishing about his old t.v. star days. Trust me you wouldn't be able to stand him."

"I believe you. Well, you do that. I'll be here for a few more minutes if you changed your mind about gettingin." I laughed.

"Nah. I should be off." She

"Aww, that's no fun." I said.

"Whatever you say. See ya, boy toy." She cooed. She sashayed away with silent steps.

"Mmm, tonight is going to be interesting." I chuckled ,sinking deeper into the water.

_________________

"That treturous boy is gonna learn what happens when he causes sadness within my family." Vivid mumbled to himself. "Ryan Sparker. What a hideous name. Black is your favorite color, huh Ryan. GET SOME CLASS WOULD YA!!!"

"Dad, mumbling to yourself isn't going to solve anything, and neither is talking to Ryan. I don't know why you had to drag me alone too." Violet pouted. "It's late at night. He's probably sleeping."

"Nonsense. On the plane I did some research on this 'Ryan Sparker' kid." Vivid said, pulling a tablet out of his pocket. On the screen where many images of me throughout my time at Rustboro. "Very interesting kid. Has an intelligence level way beyond his years, a large amount of strength and seemingly infinite energy flowing in him with his blood. He's a bit on the nocturnal side too so he won't be sleeping any time soon. Ooo, it even says that he discovered that he was made up of three legendary Pokemon: Giratina, Arceus, and Zekrom. I'll admit he's pretty formidable."

"Which is exactly why this isn't a good idea! You dumbass, can't you see I'm trying to keep you from getting killed!!" Violet screamed. "Ugh, you're such an idiot!"

"Violet, we both know you don't care about me at all, so drop the act., please. Now, I'm going to talk to him, and you're going to accompany me. I saw you coming out of that house a few minutes ago, the black one over there. I assume that's where he lives."

"So much for subtlety." Violet mumbled.

______________

I had just finished my dip in the tub and put my clothes back on before, I heard the front door open again. I went to see who it was, and saw Violet and VIiid standing there, looking around.

"No luck, Vi?" I asked.

"Nope, sorry." She answered.

"Don't worry about it." I said, now facing Vivid. "So, uh... I hear you wanted to speak to me.."

"Hold your tongue, vile boy.You are Ryan Sparker, true?" Vivid asked.

"Yes, I am. Hey, would you mind taking this outside? No? Okay great!" I said, before teleporting outside.

"Damn, he's good." Violet said in awe.

The two of them followed me out and stared up at the roof of a house a ways over where I was standing.

"Ryan, my name is Vivid colourless, the famed star. I've come only to speak to you about why you broke up with Violet." Vivid yells. I teleported behind him, causing him to jump out of his skin.

"Oh, I know why you're here and you're wasting your time." I said in a low toned voice. "Violet doesn't seem to want for us to get back together now does she?"

"No, I actually don't." She confirms. "Ryan, is fun and all, but its a waste of time trying to rekindle something that's not meant to be. Trust me, I was very, very torn when Ryan broke it off., but he was only doing what had to be done, dad."

"NO I DON'T BELIEVE IT!! NOT ONE BIT OF IT!!!" Vivid yelled. "Nobody hurts my daughter and gets away with it. NOBODY---"

I punched Vivid down to the pavement and stomped on his chest.

"You're wasting your time. Vivid. I this is all about you, I know it. You don't care if Violet is hurt or not, you don't care about how she feels, and you never will! Trust me, I was in a relationship with Violet a couple of days ago, and I can easily sense her emotions and I can tell what go through her mind just by looking into her eyes. You as her father should be able to do more than just that. Those tiny little tells, those slight movement she makes when she's feeling a certain way, you should be able to see all of that. But you can't. You only care yourself You only wanted to try and help her to get a reputation as a good father, right? Why? So you can get back with Mauve is that it? Well let me tell you something: You're throwing gas on a rather unpredictable pilot light inside of me, and when the blaze you're about to cause starts, it won't end well for you, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?" My anger ran wild with every word. I guess I still needed to blow off some steam.

"I can't explain how you knew, but I guess there's no need for me to be around anymore. There's nothing I could do to make Mauve or anyone for that matter love me again, as long as they know the real me." Vivid sighed. "You got me. I'm a failure dad. But you have to understand, I worked in the t.v. business you know. It's a scandalous environment. Anywho, could you please take your foot off of me now?"

"Yeah I think you got the message now." I chuckled, lifting my boot off his chest. Vivid quickly got up and dusted his jacket. "I don't want you messing with me or Violet ever again you hear me? If you do, I'll know trust me."

"Okay, okay I understand." He said with a shiver. He turned around quickly ran towards the Fearahu airport.

"Another problem solved." I laughed. "I'm just a magnet for annoying bothersome people aren't I Violet?" I turned towards her, but she was sitting in against my front door crying. I sat down next to her and hugged her.

"You already know what I'm about to ask you so just spill."

"You cared about me a lot more than you let on. Thank you." She said.

"Oh, I thought you were sad. Well you're welcome anyway." I kissed her on the cheek.

"Oh, now you're messing with me. Cut it out." She giggled.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"You're eyes flicker green when you're playing games. It's your tell." Violet stood up and held up two fingers in my face. "Okay, I've spent my fair share of time in a new city. I'll be in Rustboro if you need me. I know you won't but visit me sometimes would ya?"

"Nope, not a chance. I know too much about you to let you trick me into being your boy toy again." I said. "But, I won't forget you, you annoying little bitch."

"That's right, let your sarcasm run wild." Violet walked off toward the airport as well. "See ya boy toy!" She called back at me.

That bitch is never going to change. Well, I guess people don't change. Nobody does...

I dragged myself back inside and shut the door, locking it like I should have before. Jason was sitting next to Cristina on the bed.

"Hey, Ryan. I slipped in through the back." He said. "That was an awesome beating you gave that guy. And thank to Violet I know the tell now, so ha!"

"Yeah whatever." I yawned. "How is she?"

"Good. She yawns when I ask her a question. I asked her if she wanted to talk to you and she said yes. Well, I'm going to sleep. You guys have fun." Jason chuckled. He ran upstairs and plopped down on one of the beds up there. I layed down next to Cristina.

"I just... Wanted to say, I'm sorry. I know you don't want to admit it, but it's true, I'm just a burden to you. We met must two days ago, found out we were related, and since then, I've caused you so much strife." She whispered. "I should have listened to you when you said not to go alone. I'm sorry."

"I don't care about what should have been done." I said in a hushed voice. "I just care that you didn't get seriously injured. Please just sleep as long as you like. Right now, I need you to get better."

"Thanks. I do feel better now but I could use a break." Cristina laughed.

"Ha ha, okay." I kissed her forehead and stood up. " Sleep tight."

_________________

"That Sparker kid... Who does he think he is?" Vivid mumbled.

"Dad, will you shut up?" Violet was becoming very irritable. "I can't believe they made me sit next to you. You're lucky this plane has comfortable seats, and I guess the window seat is a bonus."

"I'm surprised you could be comfortable at all always wearing those itty-bitty shorts and that provocative tiny crop top." Vivid pouted. "Maybe you should get some class, Violet."

"Dad, I swear you're going to make my head hands wake up..."

"Head hands? Oh, yeah I forgot, you were a dreadful Hydreigon like Mauve and not an Arbok like me . It freaks me out when your hands transform into those demented little freaks.-"

Violet's left hand did just that and tightly grabbed Vivid by the neck. She was staring Vivid straight in his eyes with her own deep purple eyes.

"Hey! Isis and Eris are not freaks!" She growled. "You'd better watch what you say or I'll kill you long before I let you disappear." She released him and forced her hand back to normal.

"You'll never see me again, I promise."


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Sun May 25, 2014 8:23 am
Hannah wrote a review...



I'm baaack~ You can't keep me away for long hehe.

"I'm messing with you. I even have a tell. Try and look for it next time, okay?" I smirked.


This was really awkward for me! I think it's interesting as a reader to try to look for Ryan's tell as to when he's messing with someone, too, but maybe you could just make it clear to us through describing Ryan whenever he's joking around. I don't feel like anyone would ever say to someone else, "I have a tell". That's a literary thing writers might say. A person might say, "You should know me by now", or something like that, maybe.

"No need to get all snip snippy, Vi. Sounded like some jerk named Ryan shattered your fragile little heart huh? Pray tell, my dear." Vivid insisted.


I'm noticing that more and more you're giving awesomely unique voices to new characters. Like, if you showed me a sentence of Vivid's dialogue, I could probably tell you it was his just by looking at the way he speaks. I love that you take the care to build the characters down even to that level. It's a hard thing to do -- we usually want to speak how we normally speak and write characters that way, but it's nice to see you breaking out of that!

"You always succeed? I don't think that was the case when mom dumped your ass." Violet laughed.

"Don't remind me, Vi. Please don't..."


Ahahah. This made me laugh!

. On the screen where many images of me throughout my time at Rustboro.


Oh no~ I think I've said this before, but it still sounds weird. Ryan is not actually present for this moment in time, so it's weird to see him describing a scene like he was. D:


As this chapter comes to a close, I wonder why you introduced us to Violet's father if he's really just going to disappear. Was it just in order to reveal that Ryan cared about Violet more than he wanted to show? I guess I'm hoping it's not really the last time we'll see Vivid. He's pretty unique and I bet he could be more than just a failed dad!

I'll see you at the next chapter!




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Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:19 pm
lace182 wrote a review...



I am reviewing your work for the sake of clearing the Green Room vs. an interest in Pokemon. I have played the games but that is enough for me. I need no fan fiction for Pokemon. Given you have written one, however, I will review it based on punctuation, style, and plot.

I hope you can appreciate what these elements of writing are and how important they are. It may be you are not. Your punctuation and spelling are poor. I suggest to look up how to punctuate dialog for starters. Second, use a spell checker and grammar checker. Correct those items those programs underline. Any time a writer is unwilling to put forth their absolute best effort their work will suffer the consideration it is due, indeed, if any is due. Certainly there will be some errors but they should be few.

Regarding your plot, it rambles. Your characters have emotional moments. Your story isn't a story but a series of happenings. You need to think about what a character would do and what would motivate them to do it. How would they react given a situation? Write about that rather than write about what you want to see because it sounds like fun or would be fun. If you want a situation for the sake of it then write it for yourself and keep it to yourself. In the meantime, read books, learn what a good story and good writing are, and then submit again.

Keep at it. My writing is constantly improving. Yours will too if you practice.




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Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:06 am
Kale wrote a review...



Hello there, dark! In the name of the Knights of the Green Room, I, Knight Kyllorac, am here to rescue your work from the ignomity of less-than-two-reviews-ness. I hope you don't mind.

It's worth noting that I haven't read any of the earlier parts, so if I bring up an issue that was already addressed in a previous part, feel free to disregard me.

Now, onto the review:

First things first, the dialogue felt extremely stilted and stiff, for all of the characters. Character actions and reactions were also quite limited in scope. Combined together, this episode had lots of flat characters who all sounded alike, and whose actions didn't really make sense or feel believable.

For example, Vivid's reaction to being curb-stomped can be described as being a non-reaction. He gets knocked down with a single punch, stomped on his chest, and then threatened on top of all that, and his only reaction is to go on a mini monologue about TV industry and how no one can love the real him? That's not a realistic reaction at all.

Vivid isn't the only one whose actions don't make sense; all of the characters are like this to an extent, including Ryan.

Speaking of Ryan, he is suffering from a severe case of Gary Stu-ness. Not only is he Super Special, but no one can come close to competing with him due to his Super Special Powers, and everything he does is Narratively Justified. He knows everything, including the things that go on outside of his presence, considering he's narrating all the sections; while having an omniscient narrator isn't a bad thing in and of itself, having the omniscient narrator be the main character on top of it is extremely difficult to pull off well without reading like blatant self wish fulfillment.

I'm not saying that writing wish fulfillment is bad, but you should be aware that 1) your wish fulfillment isn't something everyone will enjoy, and 2) by sharing it with other people via posting it, you're opening yourself up to those other people's opinions, some of whom will tell you that your writing outright sucks (if that hasn't happened already).

As it stands, I'm not sure whether critiquing this piece is good use of either of our time. I will say that I did not enjoy reading this due to the nature of the wish fulfillment (a bit too callus for my tastes) and the lack of depth and believability of the characters.




dark says...


Reality isn't really my style. However I see your point. Thank you though.



Kale says...


You're welcome. Hopefully you can apply some of the things I said to other works in the future.



dark says...


I shall try. :twisted:



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Mon Feb 24, 2014 10:39 pm
dark says...



This episode was more of an experiment with one time characters and attempting to create a fitting mood for a character's farewell. Tell me what you think about what I did here.





You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.
— J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan