Young Writers Society

Ice and snow what a strong combination, I love it, to bad that it was so short, ''Melted like ice'' is my favorite line from this one. And ''The tears that fell'' fits beautiful together, that line makes the poem complete.

Another fantastic line is ''heart and haven'' and it is great for a last line. The first line let me think of Snow White, haha, so I love it. And how you written ''Frozen tears decorated her cheeks'', so powerful and filled with a lot of beauty.

You are a great Poet that let me want to write again, so I stop with this review and go write a poem too, hopefully was this helpful?

Have a great day/afternoon/evening,

Dazzle.

Stunning, I have no critism against this precious gossamer of poetry~

You know what?

It's so simple and I like it a lot.

Keep up the good work!

Cheers!

Timmy here for a quick review!

You are SPECIAL! This is my two hundredth review! Yayayayayay!! So you can feel... honored. Onto your review!!

I promised I would review it, and even though its a litttttlllle bit late, I still did it! Yay!

Nitpicks

The tears that fell left a

permanent bookmark on my

heart and haven't melted since.

heart and haven't melted since. ---I think that would work better there!

The tears that fell left a

permanent bookmark on my

heart

Hey!

I really like the imagery surrounding this work.
Also, it's really cool that your subject matter matches your username XD
However, you seriously need some midline punctuation in these sentences:

'She was like snow,

cold but beautiful. - the first two lines are fine.

Frozen tears decorated her cheeks.

The tears that fell left a

permanent bookmark on my

heart and haven't melted since. ' - but this last segment is far too long, despite the enjambment.

I would say add in some commas at the end and it will be brilliant.

Other than that, you have a lovely writing style surrounding a shatteringly romantic idea.

Well done.

~BSF

Hello!
This is very nice, but has a couple of minor flaws.
Firstly though, my favorite bit. (drumroll)
"cold but beautiful"
Yeah, I know it is only a small bit, but I am glad you didn't just show the good points of snow. It is always far more interesting in poetry if you give an honest comparison between objects.
However, I think in the second last line you could perhaps put my as the first letter of the last line. "My heart" is all one object if you get my meaning, so it isn't very good to split it.
As I say, very well done. Keep up the good work!
Take That You Fiend!

Hi, TheWeather. Welcome to the site and congratulations on your first poem!

I liked the poem. Also, there is a certain incompleteness about the poem, which leaves it open for interpretation. That's perfectly fine, but if you would like to make the poem refer to a more specific event, person or memory, consider elaborating on certain things. For instance, what was the reason behind the tears? Why did they leave an impact on the narrator? etc.

Also you can make the effect of the poem more intense by revising the punctuation and line breaks at certain points, e.g :

The tears that fell left a
permanent bookmark on my
heart and haven't melted since.

The tears that fell, left
a permanent bookmark on my heart
and haven't melted since.

It's pretty! You use a nice vocab and have a really nice, touching style. I could really visualize this as I read it, which says a lot to compliment how you describe things, and your personal writing style. Overall, the only flaw I have is the length. I would have loved to read more!

Hello, TheWeather! Welcome to poetry. So glad to have you!

I like the basic metaphor of ice you’ve got going here. I think you could really take it and run with it to produce something really original and stellar.

My main issue with this is punctuation: it’s a stylistic thing in poetry, but I’ll highlight some areas I think could be stronger.

She was like snow,
cold but beautiful.

Frozen tears decorated her cheeks.

The tears that fell, left a

permanent bookmark on my

heart and haven’t melted since.

Hi!
I don't really have much of a review to make because I really like this poem. It's short and sweet and still quite deep, so that's pretty amazing.
One thing I do have to say is the comma isn't necessary, especially if you read this following punctuation. It kind of disrupts the flow of the poem.
And I especially loved the last two lines
Keep writing,
Dianne E.C.E.