She was like snow,
cold but beautiful.
Frozen tears decorated her cheeks.
The tears that fell left a permanent
bookmark on my heart, and
haven't
melted
since.
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137,630 Literary Works • 672,054 Reviews
Ice and snow what a strong combination, I love it, to bad that it was so short, ''Melted like ice'' is my favorite line from this one. And ''The tears that fell'' fits beautiful together, that line makes the poem complete.
Another fantastic line is ''heart and haven'' and it is great for a last line. The first line let me think of Snow White, haha, so I love it. And how you written ''Frozen tears decorated her cheeks'', so powerful and filled with a lot of beauty.
You are a great Poet that let me want to write again, so I stop with this review and go write a poem too, hopefully was this helpful?
Have a great day/afternoon/evening,
Dazzle.
Stunning, I have no critism against this precious gossamer of poetry~
You know what?
It's so simple and I like it a lot.
Keep up the good work!
Cheers!
Timmy here for a quick review!
This is my two hundredth review! Yayayayayay!! So you can feel... honored. 
Onto your review!!
You are SPECIAL!
I promised I would review it, and even though its a litttttlllle bit late, I still did it! Yay!
Nitpicks
I guess my biggest nitpick would be inside these lines I pulled out. You have two styles of poetry going on here. Two DISTINCT styles. One tells a story and the lines flow through without breaks(like commas and periods) and the other's have distinct mental endings. The first half is written like the latter style I mentioned, and the second half is written like the first style. If you changed them a bit, and either made the first half like the second, or in reverse, it would help the poem overall.
Favorites
You have such a beautiful work here! Only a member for 3 days and already on the front page. What an accomplishment!
My favorite part would have to be:
That is just so beautifully written. A wonderful metaphor! Especially when posted in a writer's site! Permanent bookmark? Absolutely wonderful. I think you are going to be a natural here!
Good luck and I hope you stick around! Cuz your poetry is awesome!
~Timmyjake
Hey!
I really like the imagery surrounding this work.
Also, it's really cool that your subject matter matches your username XD
However, you seriously need some midline punctuation in these sentences:
'She was like snow,
cold but beautiful. - the first two lines are fine.
Frozen tears decorated her cheeks.
The tears that fell left a
permanent bookmark on my
heart and haven't melted since. ' - but this last segment is far too long, despite the enjambment.
I would say add in some commas at the end and it will be brilliant.
Other than that, you have a lovely writing style surrounding a shatteringly romantic idea.
Well done.
~BSF
Hello!
This is very nice, but has a couple of minor flaws.
Firstly though, my favorite bit. (drumroll)
"cold but beautiful"
Yeah, I know it is only a small bit, but I am glad you didn't just show the good points of snow. It is always far more interesting in poetry if you give an honest comparison between objects.
However, I think in the second last line you could perhaps put my as the first letter of the last line. "My heart" is all one object if you get my meaning, so it isn't very good to split it.
As I say, very well done. Keep up the good work!
Take That You Fiend!
Hi, TheWeather. Welcome to the site and congratulations on your first poem!
I liked the poem. Also, there is a certain incompleteness about the poem, which leaves it open for interpretation. That's perfectly fine, but if you would like to make the poem refer to a more specific event, person or memory, consider elaborating on certain things. For instance, what was the reason behind the tears? Why did they leave an impact on the narrator? etc.
Also you can make the effect of the poem more intense by revising the punctuation and line breaks at certain points, e.g :
could become
As such this is a sweet poem that I enjoyed reading. Hope I could help with my review.
Best wishes!
S.
It's pretty! You use a nice vocab and have a really nice, touching style. I could really visualize this as I read it, which says a lot to compliment how you describe things, and your personal writing style. Overall, the only flaw I have is the length. I would have loved to read more!
Hello, TheWeather! Welcome to poetry.
So glad to have you!
I like the basic metaphor of ice you’ve got going here. I think you could really take it and run with it to produce something really original and stellar.
My main issue with this is punctuation: it’s a stylistic thing in poetry, but I’ll highlight some areas I think could be stronger.
Consider replacing the comma with a colon (:).
Elaborate on the “cold” and the “beautiful” - these are pretty generalized and dull words. What about snow makes it cold? What about the subject of the poem makes her cold? What about snow makes it beautiful? What about the subject of the poem makes her beautiful? How do the two metaphors connect? relate? contrast? compare?
Why is she crying?
Remove this unnecessary comma!
A quick note on enjambment: line breaks are a really integral part of poetry and therefore should be used to their best stylistic potential! Line breaks are most commonly used to emphasize. Unless you really want to emphasize the word “a” here, I’d suggest moving it down to the beginning of the next line.
Again with the enjambment in reference to what I mentioned above: articles, possessive pronouns and prepositions aren’t fantastic to end a line with. Keep this in mind regarding the “on my” you end this line with.
Since..what? What happened that first made your heart freeze? What would make it melt?
Again, I think the idea of freezing in love instead of melting is fresh and new. Flaunt its originality!
- Indie
thanks for the critique, you've given me a lot to think about.
Hi!
I don't really have much of a review to make because I really like this poem. It's short and sweet and still quite deep, so that's pretty amazing.
One thing I do have to say is the comma isn't necessary, especially if you read this following punctuation. It kind of disrupts the flow of the poem.
And I especially loved the last two lines
Keep writing,
Dianne E.C.E.