Hi there! Could you please take a look at this short story I wrote? It's a first draft and I like the bones of it, but know it needs some work! So some feedback would be greatly appreciated:) It's called "Summerfest": work.php?id=101028
If you totally want some meat to eat, you can check out these. They need some thinning. I'll put up the options and you pick what you think looks tasty~
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