I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

Vendetta nodded. “Right. Like Joe’s convinced he’s still has Khalil under his finger, and then boom. Khalil makes a fool out of him.”

Khalil chuckled. “Oh how I would love to do that.”

“Perfect. Public embarrassment can hurt as much as a sword wound.” Valeri grinned. “Although I’d still like to punch Joe in the face… I can settle for intimidation, though.”

Dusk glowed deep purple. “How are we going to prove Joe’s lies? Everyone still thinks he’s the good guy.”

“Well, we just have to question him until something breaks.” Vendetta grinned. “We have proof that he wasn’t even in New York. So, eventually, something’s not going to add up.”

"Good, good." Dawn glowed sky blue. "So do we wait for Joe to summon us or whatever, or should we hunt him down?"

Valeri snorted. "I say we get some food, maybe a five-minute nap, then track him down. Get the jump on him, y'know?"

Vendettta waved their hand. “But if we track him down, he’ll feel less in control and lash out. If he summons us, he goes in assuming that we’re at his mercy. Peak confidence.”

Valeri frowned. "I don't think going into battle with a half-eaten avocado sandwich hanging from my mouth is a good idea-"

Dawn giggled. "Well, I see Vendetta's point. That'd just make Joe underestimate you more!"

"I mean..." Valeri frowned at the table thoughtfully. "That's fair, I suppose."

"Also, that gives us more time to devote to our totally awesome, very serious, completely foolproof plan that we're definitely going to have." Vendetta grinned.

Valeri looked surprised for a moment, then laughed. "Right. Our fabulous, totally perfect plan."

Otto lowered his hand under the table. "Od nac I dna Ymrow gnihtyna ereht si?"

Vendetta nodded. "Play along, too, I'm guessing. Go back to Joe. Say you found us. The more people convincing him that everything's going his way, the easier to manipulate he will be." They blinked. "Wow. I sound kind of villainous right now."

Valeri smirked at Vendetta. "Criminal mastermind Vendetta? Somehow, I can believe that." She dropped her voice into a dramatic whisper. "They fool everyone with their sweet personality, but they're secretly plotting to take over the world..." Valeri paused. "...in order to shower it with love and happiness~"

Vendetta sighed. "You caught me. My master plan is foiled, and I lay before you at your mercy."

Valeri laughed. "Mercy is granted, dear sibling." They shook their head, though
they were still smiling. "You're just too pure for this world."

"Aww!" Dawn glowed pink and twirled in the air. "Ooh, Mastermind Vendetta, would you graciously deign to inform Dusk and I of our roles in taking down Joe?"

Vendetta blushed. "Oh, dear." They giggled. "Uhh, maybe you're with us. Just act defeated and stuff."

"Right. So we'll get Joe to let down his guard." Dusk glowed indigo.

"So, to summarize, Khalil will run into Joe's arms," Valeri said, gagging, "and the WANNABES will seemingly rejoin Joe too. And the weapons and Vendetta and I will look defeated..."

Vendetta nodded. "I can see the headlines now: Malacoda's dark assistants finally captured for their crimes! Joe will be so happy."