I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

Vendetta crossed their arms. "Checkmate, Val. You have to do better than that."

Amy giggled. "Come on, Valeri. You have to have something better."

Valeri rolled their eyes. "Alright, how about that time Vendetta accidentally invited their 'crush' to eat dates with them? Or the time they apologized for running into a shopping cart..." Valeri thought for a moment. "None of those quite have the same embarrassing power, though."

Wormy shifted slightly at the table.

Amy paused. "You alright there, Wormy?"

Otto put a hand on her shoulder. "Gnihtyna su llet nac uoy."

Wormy nodded, then pointed towards Cody and Khalil, who had separated by a millimeter.

Otto shook his head. “Nalp ot ydaer er’yeht kniht ouy?”

“Maybe that time in the grocery store? Or the one from when we went on vacation…” Valeri mused.

“Face it. Nothing will ever be as embarrassing as you threatening to head pay someone with a sword.” Vendetta grinned. “And getting in trouble for it.”

Wormy gently poked Cody in the shoulder.

Valeri pouted. "I'll remember the right embarrassing Vendetta story one day, I swear."

Cody nodded slightly and sighed. "Just one more moment, please."

Wormy nodded, and turned back to the main group.

Vendetta giggled. “No you won’t~ I’m the older sibling, so I have all of the embarrassing stories.”

Amy blinked. “Wait, you’re the older one?”

Valeri pouted. "Don't remind them."

At the table behind them, Cody and Khalil were slowly extricating themselves from each other.

Amy perked up. “Oh, are you finally ready to plan?”

Khalil kissed Cody’s forehead one more time. “Yes. We are.” Xer eyes hardened. “We’re ready to take down Joe.”

Valeri switched from teasing to serious with a punch of her fist against the table. “Let’s do this.”

Dawn and Dusk glowed in agreement.

Vendetta nodded. “Our best bet is to try and figure out what Joe is planning and then play along until it’s too late for him to stop us.”

Amy hummed. “Okay. But how are we supposed to know what he’s planning?”

“He plasters everything over the news.” Valeri took out her phone, clicked on a news app, and placed the phone in the middle of the table.

Pictures of Joe and Cody’s fight were all over the screen with captions in all-caps. “VAMPIRE NECROMANCER CRASHES WEDDING”

Vendetta cringed. "Oh. That bad already?"

"Hiss." Dawn floated closer. "That's not good."

Valeri winced. "That's some unflattering footage right there." A video showed Cody with an exaggeratedly aggressive expression. "Think it was Photoshopped?"

Valeri scrolled down until she found something that said, "What Next? Wizard Makes Plans to Defeat Enemy." "I don't suppose Joe will state his actual plans here, but perhaps we can get some clues."

Dawn shined a determined orange. “I love clues! We can figure this out!”

“At the prison, Joe said something about interrogating us in person.” Vendetta drummed their fingers across the table. “Maybe it’s something to do with that?”