~nariel~

This story has made my day. You've done so well in explaining the pains of having an unattainable crush. Kudos to you!!! Obviously, I can relate, because I have been ...

Yikes. I didn't get this at all. It seemed to me like a bunch of ramblings. You start off with Mrs. Rogers wathcing some TV show, then you jump to ...

Hello! I have a couple things I want to point out to you, but your story made me laugh (in the good way). I thought it was very sharp and ...

Hello! I haven't been on here in a while so please forgive me if my critique is choppy. First, your beginning was pretty good. It souned like you were writing ...

Hello! Azilia got the punctuation errors. So I'll just give my opinions on characterization, plot, etc. 1. Okay, your characterization was pretty good. She's got a life and feelings, but ...

Hey Wolf, I don't think I've critiqued any of your work yet, so here it goes. :twisted: Oh, and most of this is plain nitpicky, so don't take it too ...

Yay! You wrote chapter 5! There isn't really much to say about it. The grammar and spelling was good and yes, it was kind of short. Some sentences were worded ...

Ohhhh, this was so goooood. The title is what got me becuase I used to have a crush on this guy named Tom. :oops: Anyways, the other reviewers caught your ...

I thought this started off really good! I have an idea for your student # 242. When I read it, it kind of reminded me of concentration camps where the ...

Very interesting. I just have a few comments. I was real surprised when the guy says that he's going to kill Andrea. It was just like: huh? What just happened? ...

Hello! Yes, I think Selene is a very cute name too. Seated within that very armchair was a dark man, even darker than the room. His hair was dark, his ...

Hello, welcome to YWS! First, before you post any of your work, you are required to critique at least two stories. It's in the rules. Second, this is way too ...

It's your title that got me to read this in the first place. Very cool title. ”I have found you angel child”, said the man. This sentence really bugged me. ...

Hey! I liked the tone of mysteriousness in this. It kept me reading. There's a few things that bugged me though. It is dark. I really don't like this simple ...

Yay! Chapter 4 is up! Okay first thing. Your vampires are just way too much like Stephanie Meyer's. Maybe you could keep the cold skin and change some other things ...