-
Re: Untitled? (Chapter 1)
Hi there. :) So this was good but there were some things I'd like to point out to you. Firstly in the begining chapter. If you plan to start it ...
Jun 23, 2012 -
Re: Enslaved. Chapter 1 Scene 1.
Hi there. Great scene you have going on. I know I read this before and I thought I reviewed it. I think this was well writen. There were, however, a ...
Jun 18, 2012 -
Re: Sons and Daughter ch. 2
Hi there again cpm! Good job again with this peice. :) So I forgot to mention in the previous chapter but you forgot to give their ages,except totle. If Archy ...
Jun 18, 2012 -
Re: Sons and Daughter ch. 1
Wow, cpm. :) I loved this! But there were just a few things I'd like to point out. So first of all your title "Sons and daughter" isn't so much ...
Jun 18, 2012 -
Re: We Are Experiment Prologue
Hi there. So as I read there were just a few things that I thought I'd point out to you. To begin with in chapter one. You wrote Green liquid ...
Jun 17, 2012 -
Re: Return of the Gods #1: Artemis (Intro and Chapter 1 - Version 2.0)
Hi there This version is better but still it needs a bit more. So first of all, the audio message. It said that it would explain later on in the ...
Jun 17, 2012 -
Re: Agateophobia
Hey fleet. I got to say, it's nice. I liked the way you wrote it out. First of all there are some things I'd like to point out. As I ...
Jun 17, 2012 -
Re: (Untitled Fantasy Adventure Story Set in Melbourne)
Hi there. First of all I liked the way you wrote it out. In this chapter, I wasn't really hooked to it. Well maybe just a bit but thats because ...
Jun 15, 2012 -
Re: Eternal Ectasy-Chapter 1
Hi there Aqua! First I'd like to advise you on maintaining one tense. I'm not sure if you noticed but here: The last thing he remembered was being buried alive; ...
Jun 15, 2012 -
Re: Rage
hehehehehee....(evil laugh) lets do this thing! :D Great...thing you got there ko.(I can't tell if it's the prologue or begining of chapter 1, You might want to note on that) ...
Jun 15, 2012 -
Re: Eternal Ectasy-Prologue
AQUA!!! Hey there remember moi? Just kidding. :) Anyways I am going to review this for you and hopefully it will help. I got to say, your prologue wowed me. ...
Jun 14, 2012 -
Re: Princess Turned Knight- Chapter One
Hi there! Your peice made me laugh at one point. The part where she thinks if she really was a bad choice. I don't know if you meant it to ...
Jun 14, 2012 -
Re: Princess Turned Knight - Prolouge
Hi there! Nice prologue going on there. For some reason it reminded me of the disney princesses books. I'd like to review this piece for you and hopefully it will ...
Jun 13, 2012 -
Re: Sparrow and Spaghetti: Chapter 1 part 1
Hi there. Wow. what a chapter. :) I'd like to review this peice of yours. Hmmmm... I guess I'll start with your grammar. Thirty more stumble into the clearing to ...
Jun 12, 2012 -
Re: Raven Tamers: Hidden in The Rain (Chapter one)
Hi there. I liked this peice actually. I thought it was good. :) There were some things I'd like to touch on. Firstly, I think you already know that there ...
Jun 11, 2012