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Re: Kiss The Sky, Brenda
I like that I get a good image just from reading these few lines. But its so short I don't know what its about. Yet you continue to inspire me. ...
Mar 9, 2012 -
Re: My Soul
Holy crapness that rocked!! It really made me think about it. And I like how you express the soul as another being that needs to fed, loved and cared for. ...
Jan 23, 2012 -
Re: Succubus [Rated 16+ for gore and nudity]
Sheesh, these people are harsh. I loved it! Not many people can see the real beauty in this. While I oppose to the use of the Goddesses name in such, ...
Jan 23, 2012 -
Re: The Vampire King - Prologue
Omg, I love this! But it's kind of over done, the whole vampre thing. I've written many like this, theres the King and he wants to be followed. Except in ...
Jan 10, 2012 -
Re: Mr Harry Potter, sir
OMG, this is so adorable! Since it's a song, and songs are never truely grammatically correct, I won't go into that. But it's just so adorabel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dec 19, 2011 -
Re: The Secret Snow
You know, I like this. But I'm confused. Is it wrote in the omnisecent point of view? Because at the end it had a snippet of Margies thoughts. And what ...
Dec 18, 2011 -
Re: Lighthouse
Awesomeness! I really like it, and that it's real poetry and not rhyme. While rhyming is considered poetry, I don't think so. I believe that it's childish. No worries, I ...
Nov 30, 2011 -
Re: Life Cycle Of A Helium Balloon
I like it! I do believe that you're the next peot laureate! The things you write on a whim amaze me. Like your creativity, your grammer, everythig really. You're so ...
Nov 23, 2011 -
Re: A Vampires Kiss
Wow, I really like this and it's got my mind of a few troubles for awhile. I wish you would turn this into a novel, it'd be super awesome and ...
Nov 23, 2011 -
Re: I Want To Tell You
It's really good, I like it but you only have a few problems with it. 1. YOu need to capatilize your Is, even on YWS. 2. You should put more ...
Nov 9, 2011 -
Re: I need help with this one.
I like it, but it's kinda boring........ Otherwise good. Try to put more emotion in it! It's dry, like there's nothing more than the words on the page. Try this ...
Nov 9, 2011 -
Re: Iron Bars
Wow, interesting. Is that from personal experience? You don't have to answer that. But I do have a few concerns. 1. It kinda roams a little, keep on task. 2. ...
Nov 7, 2011 -
Re: Hallows' Eve
That was really cool, I loved it! I only have a few concerns... 1. "Because while Hallows' Eve has passed, the nightmares are here to stay." It'll correct the whole ...
Nov 7, 2011 -
Re: Who am I Meant to Be
It's really good my little Wiccan, I only have one immediate concern. All of it rymes, except the first two lines. Then I can't find a pattern. So it's all ...
Nov 7, 2011 -
Re: Vengeance
Hey, wassup? I'm Youngwolf and would like to welcome you to YWS as well. Altogether, I liked it. But there are a few things that I'd like to point out. ...
Nov 3, 2011
