Published November 7, 2011
On Hallows' Eve, the nightmares creep,
taking over the world of dreams.
And on this night, beware your sleep,
unless you can ignore the screams.
Their black, hissing mouths will slice and cut,
and seep into your body, your head.
You'll know the warning, deep down in your gut.
Heed it, or run from the dead.
As the veil between our world thins
and monsters enter our realm,
you'd better hope that our world wins
and reclaims the head and helm.
When all the monsters have vanished
and the creatures have returned to their homes,
be sure to keep them banished,
or have fear of being alone.
Because while Hallows' Eve has passed,
the nightmares are here to stay.
They've made their stand, made their mark,
until the dreams chase them away.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Thank you for entering this marvelous piece of writing into my competition ;D xxx
That was really cool, I loved it! I only have a few concerns...
1. "Because while Hallows' Eve has passed,
the nightmares are here to stay." It'll correct the whole thing if you take out while.
2."As the veil between our world thins" Just change world to worlds, and sounds way better.
That is all. Hope I helped!!!!
This is a really good piece of poetry. I'd say you have a natural talent. =]
It's really cool to see someone writing a sort of Halloween poetry after it's over, but I guess the Halloween spirit can last for a long time. =]
Okay, I'm going to stop rambling now. Really good piece of poetry. =]
-pol;