tgirly

This is a great poem; it has a nice flow for the most part, though some of the line breaks are a bit strange. The only thing that really throws ...

I like this. You rock at character descriptions, but for this one, I found that it started off a little slow. And the info about the house's colors is interesting ...

Yay, you finished it! I will continue my review. Jack is the bestest of friends. Smearing chocolate and stealing traffic cones. Obviously the best way to cheer a girl up. ...

This first sentence could be reworded so it's not quite so confusing. I love how much Derin cares about his sister, the detail about him crying when she had her ...

This is probably my favorite chapter so far! (Sorry it's taken me so long to get to it; lots of tests the last week of school and all). I love ...

In hindsight, all your chapters so far have had really good description except for chapter one which was kind of skimpy on the description front, so if I were you ...

I didn't see that coming. That's an amazing ending to the chapter! The only thing that I didn't like about the chapter was it's a bit confusing; first he's running ...

Something that struck me since my last review; is it possible for something to be fantasy and science fiction? I really have no idea; but I feel like they might ...

Yay! Someone else who writes short chapters! I love the description you have here, and you did a really good job of getting the conflict rolling right away in the ...

That's a grand poem; awesome. The last stanza is a bit out of place though; I could have stood without it. It's kind of more analysis on the rest of ...

Ooh, this is deep and awesome and I like it. I love the repetition of monsters and the poem's sense of unease. There are places where I feel you lose ...

I've had division problems before; I feel your pain. It helped when I switched from internet explorer to google chrome, but I think other search engines would work just the ...

I'm going to review as I go here. The part about not noticing another person's life isn't perfect until yours is is really beautiful and deep, but it kind of ...

Lovely; beautiful writing and word choice. There's just a few things that don't seem to mesh together. First off, where's the mom? She's mentioned, but completely absent from the tale ...

I love this poem, it has such a strong theme, but I wish you pinpointed and were more specific, in it, you know? It's a bit too generic with me ...