I hold my breath once I’m aware of the sunlight streaming into the small bedroom. Maybe this time, when I open my eyes and see the cramped back bedroom in my grandparents’ house, with its twin beds and one insufficiently curtained window that opens to the east, I’ll get up, walk down the low-ceilinged, narrow hall that opens into the living room, through the dining room, into the kitchen, where my grandfather will sit at the head of the table, impatiently waiting for my grandmother to fix his coffee. He’ll see me, and, with one giant hand, work hardened and age worn, motion for me to sit at his side on the bench under their picture window. He’ll pat the hands I twine together on the tabletop and ask gruffly about the boyfriend I no longer have.
I’ll tell him I don’t have a boyfriend, and he’ll say ‘Good, you don’t need one.’ He’ll look at me for a moment while we sit in companionable silence before telling me I’m pretty, and I’ll smile up at him, his big, brown, calf-like eyes that can’t see worth anything mirrored back at him.
I open my eyes with a smile on my lips, getting up with care for my older sister trying to sleep in the other bed, her arm slung over her eyes for a respite from the rising sun. I want to fly down that narrow hall, tear through their conjoined living room and dining room, but a knot in my heart stops me. I take on careful step after another, unwinding the fear, the insecurity, the pain, assuring myself that everything is perfectly well. I turn into the living room, bound through the dining room, into the kitchen, where I see...
My grandfather at the wrong end of the table. He sits in a wheelchair with an oxygen mask loose on his face, my grandmother preparing his medicine for the morning. He sees me and holds out his hand. I take it and sit down beside him, petting his hand gently with my fingertips. He looks up at me, into my eyes, and I blink tears away, smiling gently for him, trying to ignore the fact that my eyes are no longer his, that his eyes are blue. He tries to smile at me, but doesn’t manage, like he hasn’t managed to in months, and says a name, so assuredly, to get my attention. My mother’s name echoes in my ears as I answer to it, doing as he asks before moving for my grandmother to feed him.
Watching her feed him because he can’t hold a fork, listening attentively for, not mine, but my mother’s name, my heart breaks just a little more, like it does every morning I wake up just to have my nightmare be true. My daydream, the one I have every morning, crumbles to dust.
So sad It made me cry in the end and made me think of my own grand father who died last year. You put all those feelings and daydreams in to words for the world to see and read as well as feel right along side you,not all writers can do it without throwing away all there emotions. You are and amazing writer and use your literary devises well.I hope you continue to write.
Hey buddy! Iggy here of the team Hot Sauce, ready to deliver the promised review. 
Okay, so you always write sad things. Which is fine, like me, I am a tragedy writer. ^-^ I love how full of emotion and depth this went into. I especially love her yearning for her grandpa to be healthy and sane again, and to remember who she is.
One thing I didn't like was the beginning. Or rather, the daydream. I think that you should make the line between reality and the daydream more distinguishable. It needs to be known, the moment she stops daydreaming and abruptly wakes up, so I suggets italicizing the entire beginning, from the moment it begins to the moment it ends.
Another nitpick is this line: "He'll see me, and, with one giant hand, work-hardened and age worn[…] I think a good, logical replacement for "Work-hardened" would be "calloused". 
Laat but not least, is the mother issues. What hapoened to her mom? Is she dea,d, or gone, or what? Does the grandpa mistake the girl for her mother because of looks or because he's just too far gone? I think you could add in a few more details about this, about who the mom really is.
It was a nice piece indeed, buddy. Keep up the good work! 
~ Iggy.
Hey! I just want to say that first of all, I think this story is amazing! It's full of emotions which the reader can understand. What I mean by that is that you make the emotions of the character easily relatable. Everyone has that one person whom they can't imagine losing and your story made me think of mine. I think you did a really good job at integrating melancholy. I normally tell people not to use melancholy because it is one of those things that can completely throw a reader off the story and the characters but you seemed to use it well. If I were to improve on anything it would have to be your descriptions. For some reason, some sections feel a little unclear. I would like it if you were more detailed about your characters emotions. The part that makes these kind of stories interesting is that they take emotions that you feel personally and alter it to the way someone else feels it. I didn't really understand what she was feeling, just that she was sad. Other than that, I thought this piece was very good! Keep writing
this is really sad but you can really understand what the writer is trying to tell you and the way the writer describes in detail what happens that morning it's just so clear that every morning the writer longs for the daydream to be true and is dealing with the heart breaking reality that it can never be
I really hope you don't mind my opinion I wrote it but when I write things I don't often get a good response back...and I always love telling people my opinion so I hope you don't mind at all that I shared my opinion
Hey Caeai,
This piece is full of emotion and is very powerful. You capture the imagined conversation between the Grandfather and main character really well. I especially like the line 'I’ll tell him I don’t have a boyfriend, and he’ll say ‘Good, you don’t need one.’ '
The main thing I think could be improved is the clarity in some places. For example, in the first paragraph you open with a five line sentence. I'm not disregarding the benefits of long sentences but in this case I think you could separate it into maybe two or three shorter ones. This is mainly because it is the opening sentence and it's harder to keep the reader with you with a really long sentence but it's also because you put a lot of description into the sentence, which is great; you're description is detailed and revealing but it takes away from the actions of the Main character.
There are also a couple of sentences that I don't think quite work or aren't as strong as they could be, these are shown below. Remember this is only my opinion!
'I skip down their narrow hall quietly, bounding through living room...' I have two problems with this line, one, i'm not sure how you can skip quietly or more importantly why she is being quiet? Secondly, I understand that you are trying to convey her happiness as hoping her grandfather is OK in order to emphasise the devastation she feels when he is not, however, it doesn't seem realistic that she is that excited, especially seeing as once she was awake she must have known what she was going to see.
This might just be me being a bit thick but I don't understand the line, 'listening attentively for, not mine, but my mother’s name' Maybe you could just clarify this a bit?
I want to finish by pointing out another thing I really like, 'My grandfather, in a wheelchair, at the wrong end of the table'
I think it is really clever of you to have him sitting at the 'wrong end of the table' because we immediately know that something is wrong, that her daydream isn't going to come true. I wonder whether you could make it even more effective and powerful by revealing he is at the wrong end of the table before you reveal he is in a wheelchair?
I really like this piece, it's short but says so much, you also have a really strong voice!
I hope this helps, if you need me to clarify anything then just let me know.
Wakegirl x
P.S You might want to print it out and read through the piece again as I think you might be missing a couple of words here and there.
This ruined my day in the best sort of way. Actually it didn't but it did make me very sad. Beginning to read it I expected the protagonist to be the one with dementia, and as I kept reading I really didn't want it to be the grandpa. But then it was and it broke my heart. The raw and complete sincerity of it is overwhelming; do you have experience in this sort of thing? For your sake I hope not. If so, I'm very sorry, and if not you sure know how to put yourself in situations like that. The part about the mother's name was especially potent. Beautifully written.
Hello!! Dutiful here reporting to duty! Haha
Welcome to YWS!!
Here's my review:
This story here is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. You can't help but feel for the protagonist, her pain has been described so beautifully. I know exactly how she feels because I've gone through the same situation with my grandfather This story here made me think of that time two years ago..
Anyways, I've given the compliments and now to move on the very few(emphasis on the 'very') problems I had.:
I din't quite get the relation of the title to the story. 'Dementia', it made me think that the story was about a person diagnosed with dementia. But I don't think I saw the reference anywhere in the story. Maybe, you used it for a catchy title, I don't know
Other than that I don't see any grammatical errors at all! Good job!!!
I am very emotionally attached to this story You've portrayed the emotions, oh so clearly, its beautiful ( I already said that )
Yuup, so thats my awfully short review. Good job! keep up the good work! Hoping to see more of your works
-Divz
Lovely; beautiful writing and word choice. There's just a few things that don't seem to mesh together. First off, where's the mom? She's mentioned, but completely absent from the tale and that seems a little odd; also, I don't understand the point of her having a sister. It's a bit of detail, yeah, but now you've introduced a character that we don't know anything about. How does she feel about her grandfather's dementia? Who does their grandfather think she is? And, on the note of unanswered questions, why do they live with their grandparents?
I love the way you wrote this; starting with the day dream, the maybe this time, that alerts the character to something being off, something being not quite right, but not knowing what it is until the end. That's great, expert writing. I might change the title if I were you, so it doesn't give quite so much away, but that's just my opinion. That's all I have to say; the rest is basically perfect. Welcome to YWS!
Hi there, Roxy here!
This is a beautiful piece, I love the intertwining of the emotional and personal throughtout this piece, its very well done!
Its such a sad piece, and one that I can relate to, my great aunt, whom I would have been very close to is in the same situation at the moment, so i know the real pain and upset of this piece.
i think its lovely how you incorporated how your grandfather used to be into this piece, and how the two of you used to interact together.
Overall i find it a very beautiul emotional and touching piece!
Keep up the great work!
Beautiful and touching. It's amazing what you did in the small amount of words you used. It's so relatable too. You can't help but feel for the protagonist. I feel as if I should give you some constructive critism but I don't have any!
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