teenweirdo

Sing. Sing in praises of our wonderful Lord. Dance. Dance for the happiness of our lives. Cheer. Cheer for the knowledge of the world. Write. Write because if no one ...

I really like this poem. One thing that I noticed, though: I am trapped in the dark, the sun banned from my sight. Only you can provide light. Was this ...

This is a pretty good poem. I also agree with what DrammaMomma says. Is there really a need to put two spaces after the commas like here: Look in the ...

These are all great poems! I actually think it would be a good idea if you added a few more stanzas to each of them, or broke them up into ...

Nice. By the way, thanks for critiquing my poem. :D "Girly." That's cute. The whole poem is so sweet. The one problem I see is that I don't think it ...

I really like this song, the lyrics mostly. The demo is kind of cool. It's okay. Definitely keep writing, though. More punctuation would be helpful, especially periods. That's my advice. ...

Very nice. I enjoyed this. It's really metaphorical, which is pretty cool. The color is drained and gone, leaving the widest range of technicolor greys. Sound is the only invasion, ...

Yes, I agree with niteowl. Always remember the rule: Show, don't tell. It will help you a lot when you are writing, especially with poetry. Also, use spell check before ...

Hmmm... like everyone else said, this doesn't seem completed. It sounds like you were writing a story, not really poetry. It was telling, not showing. The last sentence doesn't even ...

Haha that's funny! I hate that song, too. I tend to listen to a lot of different types of music, but Barbie Girl is just plain stupid. Moving on... Pretty ...

Yay for Muggleborns! I'm a fan of Hermione. Haha. Well, anyways, nice piece. I think everyone else caught most of the mistakes and I would have made pretty much the ...

Hi. I love the poem. Found a few typos and stuff, but nothing major. :) "Ignore" in fourth stanza is spelled wrong. Probably typo. You spelled it "ingnore." Just correct ...

Hi there! Love the poem. So powerful. Favorite lines bolded, suggested for correction in red, my comments in italics. Lightning slashes at the sky. rain saturates the soil dry. thunder ...

It switches from third to first person very quickly. It seems kind of weird to me how that happens and it doesn't seem like the first two paragraphs flow very ...

I agree with Aedomir. That line doesn't flow as much. It is short too, as one person has said. Maybe lengthen it and separate it into stanzas. It might flow ...