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Re: Can nobody hear me?
No voice called out to greet me Across the blustery breeze My favorite! 'Ello! I really liked your poem. I wish it did not relate to you, because that would ...
Oct 7, 2009 -
Re: End of Summer, End of Me
'Ello! We were halfway down the street when I realized that I had forgotten to brush my teeth. I love this as an opening like. It almost made me laught, ...
Oct 7, 2009 -
Re: Behind The Looking Glass: The Awakening (Chapter 1)
I am wordering wha is going to happen next, you left me with that. All i have to say is you have serious gramatical errors, and im too lazy to ...
Oct 7, 2009 -
Re: Red
I honestly don't think you should have a comma between "Hours" and "Over the dead." It sounds like you don't know how to put comma's in. It definantly sounds better ...
Oct 6, 2009 -
Re: A Last Time...
Hiya, again. Well, lets see. Your story was very cute, and different. The fact that you live in India gives you the ability to venture into different places I cannot. ...
Oct 5, 2009 -
Re: Miracles
Don't count on these being right, but somethings don't sound right to me. Here it is, finally. My light. And from it comes beautiful amber-winged butterflies, that hold blue orbs ...
Oct 4, 2009 -
Re: Floating
Hiya! I have to say, there is nothing I really need to correct in your poem. If I can make one slight suggestion, though, it is that you add some ...
Oct 4, 2009 -
Re: Half Of You To Hold
I didn't get the chance to read your second chapter, but im sure its just as magical as the first. Your dialogue is amazing. Everything the characters said sounded like ...
Oct 4, 2009 -
Re: Dear Juliet pt.2
'Ello, " Yep, Romeo, prince of Thalspar." Pretty sure a Princess would not say Yep! consider changing it to yes. It is far more formal. " No, not that. The ...
Oct 3, 2009 -
Re: Dear Juliet...
"Such a beautiful creature, but I shall not be tricked by such selfish courtesy. This be the prince from the other kingdom. I'd rather be alone than dance with such ...
Oct 3, 2009 -
Re: Happy Memories
Hello! If my grading is not precise, dont listen to it. I did my best! We were staying with our uncle in Steamboat to do some skiing. Yeah, this sentence ...
Oct 3, 2009 -
Re: The Best Book Ever Read
There is this book I read for a school project in the 6th grade. It is for a younger age group than I am now, but I can't stop loving ...
Oct 3, 2009 -
Re: The Girl on the Highway
Hey, I liked it. It was not very descriptive. I felt like you wrote this so quickly just to get to the main point. If you are thinking about continuing, ...
Oct 2, 2009 -
Re: Schizophrenia
GROSS! Haha, just kidding. I liked it. Your story is definantly original, especially compared to any other work I have read on this site. Your description of death, and the ...
Oct 2, 2009 -
Re: The Chronicles of Rein (place holder title)
Shalom! Oh goodness. When you started off, i was scared because the first paragraph sounded like the story I am writing. It isn't, though, thank goodness. I did notice any ...
Sep 29, 2009
