silented1

Second stanza I don't like how you repeat Or so many times. You shoud lessen it. Wow, I really liked this. The ending hit me pretty well. I love how ...

in this great big scary world. Lol... No offene... This sounds like it's for a 5 year old. And It sort of ruins the flow, that you had going. That's ...

Hmm some of the imagery in your first stanza... I didn't really like. Mainly: I feel like all my face does is frown. This is telling us not showing us ...

like a feather blowing in the breeze. I do believe this is a cliche, my friend. You ought to do your best to avoid em. The ending... Wasn't what I'd ...

This is an okay poem, it's small there there won't be much to say. 3rd line I think you need a from there, other wise it sounds awkward. From time ...

Let’s pretend I care about the photo in your pocket and not the zipper hiding it. Can you trace back our steps to the gallery where we thumbed through art? ...

One thing I like is this: However in yours, you paint me as another. What I like is that you don't use the seeing and you use paint, a show ...

They will happen very soon in fact The in fact ruins the flow. Over all for the flow, I didn't like it too much. There wasn't a lot of connection ...

Ah... Good old emo suicide poetry. Quite the worry some topic, no? You and I (and too many others) are alike, in the sense that suffering is all I(we)'ve ever ...

You repeated the last 2 lines of the first stanza again in the first 2 lines of second stanza.. We already knew it's not your concern. No need to retell ...

It's good to see you again octo!! How have you been? If you don't mind my asking. Well, onto the review. Okay, well no big problems with this. One thing ...

Foruth line you should apitalize the 'I'. One thing I didn't like about the poem is that I don't know exactly what you're shooting for and what you're leaving behind. ...

In the second line of the poem. Is that lion thing a metaphor? I can't tell. I believe in the first line of the second stanza you need a comma ...

Okay after reading the first line, I am thinking alright a cliche love poem. You should find a different setting. Maybe a solar eclipse? Those are cool and underused. Especially ...

So first things off, I like how short your poem is.On he same token there won't be much to say. Also your rhyme does feel a tad bit forced... That's ...