sarebear

Hi, I definitely enjoyed reading this. However, I wasn't sure exactly what I was reading? Why did you title it Cicada? What does it have to do with Cicadas? I ...

Hi Nova, Nice poem. I like your use of comedy! But i will die. That is innevitable. But my heart is quite inheritable. I shall release my seeds, into the ...

Hi Isha, First of all this is great! I feel the emotions very clearly. A few nitpicks: I steal a quick glance at Jesse, our eyes lock for a moment ...

Hi God, Overall I liked this. One thing: as every tongue hangs loose. I thought this disrupted the flow of your poem. You could have showed slightly more rather than ...

Hi First of all, this is really great! I like it a lot! One thing: I can almost taste it's tumbling oceans. now the earthquakes start, I can feel the ...

Hi Josh, Welcome to YWS! I'll be your reviewer for today. First of all, I agree with mizz about showing rather than telling. Take the first line. You come out ...

Hi Fairy, I loved this! I disagree that a period in the middle of a line is a problem. It is part of the poem and adds to its uniqueness. ...

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, this shouldn't be on the site right now. Before publishing, you need to: 1. Capitalize 2. Punctuate properly 3. THINK ABOUT WHAT ...

Hi, Sarebear here to review First of all, nitpicks. My hand trembled with shock, causing the pain to build more and more in my head. Get a hold of yourself. ...

Me likey! The flow of the words was very nice. I might cut out some of the question marks, but that's just aesthetic. I was slightly confuzzled by the italicized ...

This is pretty good. I would break up some of the lines. Also, don't center it. It makes it kind of hard to read. I suffer every second of your ...

I enjoyed this a lot. It is somewhat cliched, but what isn't. I like the idea of losing a fight instead of winning one. That's nice and fresh. I'm a ...

Ky: I like it a lot. I was wondering if you'd think about writing a non-rhyming version. Just for comparison. I like it as is, but I was just thinking ...

Hi I agree with the other two about use of the word 'ain't.' sometimes they’ll have steam coming out of them or something I'm not big on the line 'or ...

Hi ultraviolet, Wow, is all I can say. These are kind of funny. A few things: I might rework: "now my leg you are pullin'" Pullin' doesn't really rhyme with ...