sarebear

Hi there. First of all, I hope this isn't a true story and I'm going to have to assume that it isn't since it's being posted in fiction. However, it ...

First of all, I've read the three chapters, and the first thing would suggest is that you consolidate at least the first two chapters if not all three into one. ...

Hello, I enjoyed this poem. My grandfather passed away recently (of a stroke, but all the same) so I can identify. It is dark, but I like the way you ...

Hi Robbin, Having just posted on your welcome mat post about not being scared of reviews, here I am to prove it to you! Alrighty, into the review. First of ...

I feel like this is somewhat pointed at me. I apologize, Karzkin, for my ignorance. However, you will be happy that I changed the title to "A Collection of Senryus". ...

Hija, First of all, I'd appreciated this because I am a little sister to an older brother as well. My brother isn't that mean, but I've definitely noticed a change ...

Hi there, Alright, first the nitpicks: Luna woke up in a cold sweat, screaming. This opening is not particularly descriptive. I think the word "screaming" isn't doing much for you. ...

HI Very beautiful writing style. You manage to be vague without being too vague (one of my pet peeves). First, nitpicks: "Sometime TODAY Barry!!!" Another pet peeve is multiple exclamation ...

Hi! Here for a review. I’ve spent the last four years with sand under my tongue Beautiful! In this and the next line I love your use of human anatomy ...

Hey Karzkin, First of all I want to say that I've enjoyed reading your poetry the past few days! Now on to the poem: First some nitpicks. Things to change ...

Hi Derek, First of all, I'm somewhat confused. Half or your poem has a rhyme scheme. The other half doesn't. You need to pick one, and go with it. Also, ...

I'm afraid I don't have a ton to say about this, except that I really enjoyed reading it. Your prose is simple but elegant, simultaneously painting a picture and playing ...

Very....uh....well....I guess imperceptible might sum it up... This is interesting. Your prose is nice. One technical thing I might have done, because you did it in the rest of the ...

I liked this a lot, short and to the point. Although in general it is something of a cliche, as anime said "breaking the lock" isn't a cliche which was ...

Hi! So I'm going to start with my technical nitpicks. First of all, Pharaoh is misspelt in the title and in the piece. Scarab beetles and scorpions coexist along side ...