ireylcadence

I hope you don't really feel like that. *hug* Welcome to YWS, by the way! Some points in punctuation and such--proofread! Also, I would probably split the poem into stanzas. ...

You are absolutely clueless To the pain you have caused me. This love is just a virus You're the deadly disease. While I like the metaphor/simile, these two lines don't ...

Haha, I could pretend to be sagaciously deep and try to analyze the hidden meanings behind every syllable, but I have to say that ScottieRAWR is just about right. But ...

Definitely like this one. However, there are somethings with the flow that you need to work on--for example, the last line. Try the old "read-it-out-loud" method. That line just seems ...

Simple and sweet. It's rare to find a poem that is well-developed and concise all at the same time. This is a great piece. You might want to add some ...

Very lyrical indeed. :) You might, however, want to read this out loud to yourself. Though overall, the syllables flow very well, there are some parts where the rhythm stumbles, ...

Very nice. I'll bet you you can put that on metrolyrics and no one would even notice it's not a real song. ;) Are you going to put music to ...

Definitely sing-able. :) What type of music would you set it to, though? It sounds like Country, but I could be wrong. Mitch said let's marry here, Gale said, “we'll ...

It's great that you delved so deeply into the topic and described it with such imagination and detail. That's what too many writers seem to have a problem with, so ...

Well written. It's not exactly poetic per se--sounds more like a translation of some ancient proverbs from some fantasy book. In fact, it actually sounds like Bible verses. :) This ...

Definitely would sound great as lyrics, as Jane said above. If you just wouldn't lie to me. ... If you would have trust in me. Those two lines should have ...

This is very vague, and kind of difficult to comprehend. By the time that we realize that we are nothing more then words and over thought expressions, to repress our ...

Wow. Usually when I see a piece of this length, I skim through a bit, get the gist of things, then turn away. But this actually made me want to ...

This is a very sweet poem, to say the least. It's also very readable, another good thing to have. First, just to nit-pick a little: In the first line, the ...

Nice poem! i would say that the best part about this poem is the rhyming. Unlike a lot of poems, I think you managed to follow your rhyme scheme very ...