Spellbound

Nice poem!

i would say that the best part about this poem is the rhyming. Unlike a lot of poems, I think you managed to follow your rhyme scheme very well without making it sound forced.

However, there are some problems with the meter that disrupt the flow. The three stanzas all have different meters, which makes it rather hard to read, and some lines just don't fit next to each other, such as:

These aspirations have led me to believe
That a confession is long overdue.

Hmmmm. Well. I am not a professional, but I do go to a performing arts school, so I will tell you nothing but what my teachers have told me. "Poems do not need to rhyme."

You don't need to restrict yourself to a specific rhyming pattern and I think that it almost always creates a corny and restrictive tone to the piece.
That being said, i do think that you rhymed well. There are always poems that work better with a rhyme scheme, and if that's what you wanted to go for, you did it reasonably well. I do like the idea, and it's sweet, but in general conversational poetry is much more common because it gives the author more room to back an impact.

I do still like this though, and I understand it wasn't written to really make a huge impression. So I think it makes good practice and you executed it well.

I both agree and disagree with your comment regarding love. Love can stir quite a variety of emotions and is not always conveyed in a strong or powerful manner.

In regards to this poem, it is meant to display a childish love that is not yet fully formed or perceived by both parties. It is meant to mark the start of a journey to find out what love really is rather than follow someone who has already grasped its deep roots. I am interested to hear any suggestions you have that will help me better convey this message!

With that said, you were right in thinking that there is an inside joke within the creation of this poem. It was a play on his first confession to me many years ago and I wanted to recount it in a silly way in the spirit of Valentines Day.

Thank you for your critique. I will definitely keep your words in mind the next time I write a poem that falls under the same genre!

Cheers,
Lindsey

I like you. You can defend yourself. And I am glad you have no wish to retaliate. Mature.
That being said: I still don't think this poem was in any way exceptional. To me, it didn't feel as though you put much technical effort into it. Because it was created to please a boyfriend, there may have been an inside joke that I wasn't aware of. Besides, Misslindseyk,
the poem was, as you said, childish. Face it: Love has, (forgive me for using your words again here) "heavy throws of emotion" if it doesn't, it's not love. If you are writing about something as important as love, you should attempt to capture it as clearly as possible. I do not necessarily hate love poems, I just do not appreciate throwing words at emotions instead of crafting words like emotions, which is the most common way of writing this type of poetry.
As to my status as a senior writer, that happens automatically with the number of posts.

I am arguably no where near being a "professional" poet, but I stand by my poem as it was created as part of a whimsical card I crafted for my boyfriend this past Valentines Day and was not originally intended a "professional" audience.

Though the poem does fall under the category of "love", its more childish stylistic approach is meant to keep the beat and message lighthearted in nature. The poem's lines are not meant to beget such heavy throws of emotion as the greats have been able to capture in their work; rather, its aim is to achieve more of a recollection of one's childhood love.

On a side note... I regret to inform you that your comment was in no way taken personally nor do I feel any of the slightest urge to somehow sabotage your work with vicious comments as you have somehow surmised. If your comment been written in a professional manner and was not used as a means of going off on your own personal tirade, I would have taken your every word into consideration upon my rewrite or at the creation stage of my next poem.

It's a pity that you seem to have welled up so much spite for the genre in which I wrote in, as it has obviously tainted what could have been a non-biased critique. As someone who flies under the title of "Senior Writer", I expected more from you. Sadly, the way in which you worded your comment did not live up to expectation.

Thank you for the time you took to both read and comment on my work.

Cheers.

Wow. That poem was not powerful. It was not unique. It was not even very emotional. Barely sentimental. Pathetic. Yeah, I'm cruel. Very cruel. But it was horrible. In my opinion, "love" poems are not worth their weight in ink, so it is best not to write them. Because you posted this on the computer, I suppose I can forgive you.
It is, however, possible, theoretically, to write a good love poem. Shakespeare did it. Poe did it. You have not. You didn't put much effort into it, did you. Be honest with yourself. I can, however, see some potentially interesting tidbits there "you've cast a spell over me...and sentiments have come to brew" If it was a poem with a theme of equating the feelings of love with witchcraft I might be able to grudgingly accept this as a legitimate attempt, but the theme wasn't very concentrated.
I can actually see some potential in you though. Take my advice in the form that it is intended, to make you better. And not "better" as in "oh, if your improving its ok:" I mean if you have the courage to get off the extremely beaten path of love poems you might become worth your salt.
Don't write love poems unless you have as much talent as the aforementioned greats. Not worth the ink, not worth your time. You may be able to write a good poem/story if you wrote about another feeling. Try lust. Veeeeerrrrry different from love. Or fear, but that's an easy one. Try anxiousness, like in a weird dream.
That is the best advice I can give you. Feel free to review me as revenge. I enjoy pain. But remember: if you were a great writer, you would be published.

It's a shame that I just missed Valentines Day in regards to posting this poem. Oh well... Cheers to getting an early start on my arsenal for next year !