hudakp

It could be really great lyrics for a song. After some improvement of course :)

The first half of the story was good. But then it was really unrealistic.

like. :)

boring? that's the right word. :)

to be more dramatic I would add: til she died... Quite good I can imagine a song from these lyrics.

its interesting, i can imagine that as the song, but i would also change some parts. :)

Great action. :)

Quite interesting although I dont like this genre. :)

Nice. I like it. :)

Simply like. :)

Pretty naive but quite well written. :)

The story wasnt interesting for me to read it but it is well written.

Your writing really got me into the story. Finally somebody who pays attention to content more than the visual or grammar side. :)

Yes the most of it is boring. But their right that it is well written.

Its good written but theres a lack of originality.