My Mother Never...

by SiriusBlack

Published August 30, 2012

In Poetry

My mother never stopped loving me.

She always cared for me and even when I lied,

or messed up,

but she never stopped loving me. 
 

My mother never yelled.

No matter how mad she got at me,

Or how mad she got at anyone,

She never yelled.
 

My mother never hated what I wrote,

She would always tell me nicely,

Eventually she would tell me what to do better,

But my mother never hated what I wrote, she never yelled,

And she never stopped loving me.

    


Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
o0OakageO0o
Review
o0OakageO0o wrote a review Review · Aug 31, 2012

Well, although I could not personally relate to the poem, I liked it. The flow was a little choppier, but as a whole, it was very well done. I particularly enjoyed how the first two stanzas were four lined, and as the drama increased the third stanza had five. <3 Being a little English nerd, I very much approve. Good job!

Yours psychotically,
- thelocalmaniac

User avatar
BlackStallion Review
BlackStallion wrote a review Review · Aug 30, 2012

I like the whole poem on a whole but it was not as fluid as most poems I've read and one another thing why have you left a line after every line, it would make more sense if you wrote a paragraph and then left a line for the next paragraph. And you don't have to keep adding coma's after everything like :
My mother never hated what I wrote,

She would always tell me nicely,

Eventually she would tell me what to do better.

But my mother never hated what I wrote, she never yelled,

And she never stopped loving me.

Yeah I guess that's it !
-BlackStallion :D !

User avatar
hudakp Comment
hudakp commented Comment · Aug 30, 2012

to be more dramatic I would add: til she died...
Quite good I can imagine a song from these lyrics.



Don't aim at success--the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself.
— Viktor E. Frankl