forgottenfallen

Hiya! x As all the other reviews said, the first thing I thought was 'cliche!' This could put some people off, so try thinking about a more exciting or 'different' ...

Hiya! Well, when people say some peoples stories don't f-l-o-w, yours definitely did! You need to think about breaking up some of your sentences. Heres an example, and how you ...

Hiya! x This was a very short extract, but I found it quite effective. So down to the review? “Run, Uri. Run.” The voice came through the trees. Nice start. ...

Chapter One Hiya! Well, I loved your story. I had hardly any critisms, and enjoyed reading it. Normally, I don't like stories that are told from the 'outside view', where ...

Hiya! Pro-log Just a quick point, easy mistake to make though :) 'Prologue' I loved this prologue, I like the way you use the dictionary quote. Its really creative. You ...

This is the Lexy poem right? I can tell. Trash the weird rhymes....they just don't work, sorry. How about using other resources (internet, library, YWS) to find original styles of ...

“Fuck’s sake hurry up, I can’t feel my fingers anymore!” “You’ve got the thickest gloves here, so shut up. I’m nearly done anyway.” While whispering this threateningly the speaker, a ...

Right, okay.... in the heart of New York city Should be New York City , right? That is the full official name, so each word should be in capitals. his ...

“Hi Sapphire!” He exclaimed holding his bags of groceries . Full stop I ran over and took some of the bags out of his hands. I took them into the ...

Where did you get the idea for this peom from? Its beautiful! It leaves you wondering 'is his name really he or is it just clever trickery?' Gold star! :) ...

I love the initial idea of this poem, but I hate the way everyone thinks that in poetry every two lines have to rhyme or the words have to relate ...

This is the first chapter I have read of this, so I am judging the writing not the story line. We walked shoulder to shoulder, along the bank of the ...

Hi!!! Firstly, if I was you, I would wait until I had written a little bit more before I posted, because your post can be as long as you want ...

This definetly reminds me of myself, but 2009 wasn't the best year ever, right? It was bad for all of us on all sides. Maybe this year all of us ...

I think she totally ruined Breaking Dawn with Renesmee appearing, I could have thought of a much better ending! I am personally Team Volturi, because at the end of BD ...