fiction903

I thought the first chapter had a little bit of a patronizing tone. I don't think that program that you described very accurately portrays what it is like to be ...

I think the book is moving forward fast Denice and Ben just met and now their preforming in "a Midsummer nights dream" together. I think the foundation of this story ...

Your piece sounds like a motivational speech. I think you did a fantastic job. Another quote you could put in there is "The only place where success comes before work ...

That poem was ok for being one that just popped out of your head. I would change.. Ever will lose. Mabye you should say something like "you will always loose". ...

Round and round I go. Back and forth, To and fro, Never stopping, Never talking, As life passes by, If I were you I would take out "As life passes ...

It is a very short poem.When you talk about the "us" in your poem I wish you would elaborate. I would change For it fills me with warmth You cannot ...

I think your story is hilarious. I think you took an excruciatingly long time getting to the point though. For I don't think the average reader needs to know about ...

You are definitely not losing the talent to write. I do have a couple of suggestions for you.. And I can feel its mark And I can feel it's mark ...

This sounds more like a rant than lyrics. Please do not use text speak when you write a poem. Also I think you used "you" way too much. your just ...

I liked your poem and I thought it had good rythym. I do have one suggestion thought Will it always be thus way? I think you should change this line ...

I think your poems a little short. I have a number of suggestions for you. First... The hope that is put In somebody that regrets I think this should be ...

From a writers stand point I think it sounds a little cliche. If I was you friend getting this on valentines day I would be overjoyed. It has nice rhythm ...

Your poem was interesting. Freindship and precious love flys the bright streets Its Friendship I like your word choice for this poem and the poem flows well. Once you correct ...

This is my first time reviewing lyrics. Your lyrics remind me of Switchfoot's song "Only Hope". I would change Every time our eyes meet I tend to forget to breathe ...

This is a unique piece to be on the romantic fiction. I haven't had any kind of experience with this type of writing but I will try to review it ...