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Re: Him <3
Hey i'm here to review I saw a couple mistake: "Hey sweetie, why don't you come over her a minute?" I corrected the H. I also think it would be ...
May 30, 2012 -
Re: Wicked Afterlife (Prologue)
This is a great story so far! The only thing I found confusing was: " A sudden wicked grinn that glowed around a black night in front of a blazing ...
May 30, 2012 -
Re: Nightfall~ Chapter 1: Love Isn't To Be Trusted
Wow, this is a really interesting story. I like your plot and i didn't really expect the guy to change her into a vamp. The princess was a suprise to, ...
May 30, 2012 -
Re: What one will do for love
Hi, I'm here to review I really like your story, it'll probably give me nightmares, but i still like it. I didn't really see any mistakes in your story, looks ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: Prologue - Untitled Story
Hi, i'm here to review The first think i must say is i Love wolves!! And it's cool how the wolf protected the women, I really just wanted the women ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: The world is officially ending
Well i like the story but i saw some mistakes in there. Like the title needs to be capotilized and you should reread it so that you can catch your ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: The world is officially ending
Well i like the story but i saw some mistakes in there. Like the title needs to be capotilized and you should reread it so that you can catch your ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: Enslaved. Chapter 1 Scene 1.
this is really, really good! I like the way you capture sounds and the plot allows the story to progress. The only problems i had was grasping the character arvod, ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: The fox boy- chapters 1 and 2
I like your story so far, it really drew me in at the beginning. But you still got some mistakes, for an example you used a lot of elipses in ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: The Legions of Yalutch: Chapter I (Part I)
I just don't see how this is romantic and you need to indent too. I got confused about what they were training for and at the end i got even ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: Strawberry Lake
First thing is you should really indent I almost lost interest and the story just doesn't have that... WOBAM!! To it, sure he saved the kid and he was a ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: Memory
Hey, I'm here to review you. Well first of all the bold writing is kind of distracting and you shouldn't have those spaces in between the sentence because it almost ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: Within the Sands
Upon my throat Comes out sticks and stones Blood along them. Within the sands they wisk away The momentum always building, new ones falling I really like this poem but ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: So this is how it ends.
Its a really good story, I was instintly hooked by the first sentence and had a jumble of questions in my head until the end. Legend sounds pretty ruthless and ...
May 28, 2012 -
Re: Missing
You give way to little details about the party and the end of the short story doesn't really make since to me. You should talk more about the mom in ...
May 28, 2012
